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Chapter 5 The months passed and Severus spent as much time as he could in his dungeons, safe from the prying eyes of Dumbledore and Draco Malfoy. It seemed that every time he left his rooms, one or the other of them seemed to be there. It wasn’t just that though; he enjoyed being alone. It was just him and the growing baby: his greatest secret. He didn’t want anybody else, he didn’t need anybody else. Dumbledore had let him down again, coming to him shortly after Christmas and explaining that he couldn’t risk allowing the secrets of the wards surrounding Hogwarts to fall into Voldemort’s hands. Severus shut himself away physically and emotionally. As his shoulders sank under the heavy load they carried, he briefly considered telling Dumbledore about the child he carried, but quickly reined in that thought. He couldn’t bear to give the old wizard another thing to hold over him. He would just have to make the best of this situation. He only prayed that if Voldemort killed his child, that he would, this time, kill him right along with it. The months of Draco watching him finally came to a head one night when he was in Snape’s office awaiting punishment for the latest prank in his running feud with Potter. “Why Draco?” “Because.” “Because?” The sarcasm was palpable. “Surely you can do better than that?” “I overheard him planning to pour his potion on you. I couldn’t let him hurt my family.” “Your family? Mr Malfoy, I hate to disabuse you of this foolish notion you seem to have in your head, but you and I are not related.” “As good as, really.” Snape’s blood ran cold. The boy was as cool as a cucumber, as unruffled as only a Malfoy could be. Lucius would have been proud of his progeny’s style. Was he even aware of how alike he and Draco were? Yet, the only questions that mattered to Severus at that moment were ‘what did the boy know?’ and ‘what did he want from Severus?’ “What do you mean?” Severus asked guardedly. “Well, it is my father’s isn’t it?” “What are you talking about Mr Malfoy?” he snapped. The boy’s composure was truly infuriating to the tired, pregnant wizard. Oh Merlin, Severus thought as his mind went into overdrive, he had to get the boy out of his office now. Even as Severus started to stand, Draco pointed his wand at him and started to chant various revealing spells. As his luck would have it, the third spell Draco tried was the correct one and Severus slumped back into the chair, foiled even before he could rise, his now heavily pregnant form clearly visible through his robes. Livid, Severus raised his wand and was about to curse the little hellion back to the dark ages when Draco said in quiet awe, “So, that’s my little brother or sister in there?” “What makes you think my child is, in any way, related to you, Mr Malfoy?” Severus asked coldly, playing for time, trying to find some way through the doors that kept clanging shut all around him, forcing him into this confrontation, forcing him to spill his secrets. If he admitted that the child was Lucius’, what was there to stop Draco from telling his father or even trying to put an end to the baby’s life himself to ensure his position as Lucius’ only heir? “Do you really think I’m that stupid sir? I know what goes on between you and my father. I live at the Manor, remember?” Severus looked up at the young man standing before him. Ashamed, he looked away. “You know?” he asked weakly, “Then you must despise me.” “Why?” Draco looked confused. “For not refusing him. For letting him do this to me. For not being stronger, more Slytherin.” “When my father decides on something, there’s very little anybody can do to stop him. He’s too used to getting his own way. Anyway, Slytherins do what they have to in order to survive. We don’t see actions as right or wrong like the tiresome Gryffindors, just stupid and sensible, what keeps you alive and what gets you killed.” Severus looked up sharply, wondering exactly what his student was revealing here. He could find no clues in the boy’s countenance. “Draco, if Lucius has ever…” “To me?” To his credit, Draco only looked startled and not disgusted. Severus didn’t think that he could have coped if the boy had shown any hint of revulsion at the very acts his father had coerced him into. “It is not uncommon in Dark Arts families for the son to,” he hesitated before continuing quietly, “take on certain roles in the absence of any more civilising influence.” As Draco breathed in harshly, Severus realised what he had let slip and closed his eyes in defeat. Excellent. If Draco was anything like his father, he’d have him on his knees for half the Slytherin dorms before the night was out in exchange for keeping this juicy tit-bit to himself. “Sir, I don’t think it’s shameful.” “Well then Mr Malfoy, I can only question the environment you have been raised in if you truly consider that there is nothing wrong in a boy or a man being used in such a way.” “That’s not what I meant Professor.” Draco took a deep breath and tried again, “I mean that I don’t think it’s your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself. That’s all.” Wanting to save Draco some of the humiliations that had been heaped upon him during his own schooldays (if the clues Draco was giving about his inclinations were accurate), Severus said slowly, “Draco, you do understand that men or boys who enjoy other men as they would a woman are not widely welcomed within our closed society.” Draco nodded but Severus felt compelled to continue. “Especially in a place such as Hogwarts, any such ‘deviant’ desires, if discovered, can be made public knowledge by your enemies and you could find yourself at the mercy of, shall we say, the less liberal elements within the school.” Draco squirmed and looked at the ground, understanding that he was being given a warning rather than a confession. He nodded before asking, “Is there anything I can do to help you Sir?” His heart sinking as he took in what he understood to be the full implication of this question and his failure at reaching Draco, Severus sighed, “What do you want of me Draco?” Stunned, Draco looked up and saw his head of house: tired, heavy with child, defeated, his to command. Having waited years to have power over one of his elders, to finally get it, in this way, over this man, made him feel sickened. “N…nothing,” he stuttered, the Malfoy composure lost for a second, “not in that way. I just want to help you and my brother or sister. I’ve always wanted a little brother, or sister,” he added as an afterthought. “Mother and father wouldn’t have one though, you know, the old superstition about diluting the heir’s magical powers. How come you can have a child?” The question did not surprise Severus, the only surprises being that it had taken Draco so long to ask and that finally explaining it after all these years was not more difficult, more painful than this. “The Dark Lord planned an army of wizards bred from wizards. He managed to make certain magical changes so that I could conceive.” “Why did he never do it to any of the other Death Eaters?” “I was unable to carry a child to term and deliver it alive. He considered the project a failure.” Both wizards looked at one another as they acknowledged the enormity of the task Severus had set himself. Draco resolved to look out for his head of house as best he could whatever the outcome of the next few weeks. “Maybe this time it will be different. After all, this time you’re carrying a Malfoy.” Draco hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. In truth, he couldn’t understand why Severus was putting himself through all this when, chances were, he would end up getting nothing out of it. Severus looked at the achingly familiar grey eyes and saw a flash of determination in them that he recognised from the boy’s father. This Malfoy, he decided, could be as difficult to dissuade as the older version. Still, some things had to be made clear now, for all their sakes. “You do know that you won’t be able to acknowledge this child, even if it survives.” It wasn’t a question, just a quietly stated fact. Draco hung his head, “I understand that, but I’ll still know the truth. You’re right though, its better that father doesn’t know.” He laughed, “Can you imagine mother’s face though? Oh, if only…”. He lapsed into an amused silence and they sat together companionably for a few moments. Satisfied that he and Draco had reached an understanding, Severus packed him off to bed as it wasn’t safe for any student, even Draco Malfoy, to be out of his dormitory past curfew.
Ever since Dumbledore had learned that Voldemort wanted to find ways past the wards guarding Hogwarts, he had insisted on regular nightly patrols, most of which seemed to be made by Severus. Yet another of the crosses he had to bear. Severus eased himself up from his seat and recast his cloaking charm. He reached for his cloak as he heard the rumble of thunder outside. Ah, the perfect end to a perfect day!
Unable to hear anything other than the thunder and the violent pitter patter of the rain, constantly threatening to become an overwhelming torrent, Severus crossed the grounds towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Severus was as alert as possible as he skirted around the edge of the Forest. He had had some pretty close calls with the centaurs and several of the other creatures who inhabited the Forest. They seemed to have a particular objection to his presence amongst them. Oh well, Severus thought bitterly, they could join the back of a very long queue. He took shelter at the edge of the Forest as he saw the door to Hagrid’s hut open. Illuminated in the warm orange glow were the half-giant and Harry Potter. Severus ground his teeth. Here he was, risking his health and his child’s life to protect the schoolchildren from the Dark Lord and here was said Dark Lord’s number one target prancing through the grounds at all hours without a care in the world. Where was the justice? Well, it looked like Potter was Hagrid’s problem for tonight. Just for once, Severus was going to make no effort to go looking for trouble, having decided that trouble found him far too often as it was. Severus continued his patrol as soon as Hagrid and Potter were out of earshot. They had headed in the direction of the pens in which Hagrid kept his creatures for his classes. Perhaps there was a god, Severus thought, as he uncharitably pictured Potter been mauled, eaten or quite frankly just terrified out of his wits by one of Hagrid’s ‘pets’. Lost in his musings, Severus was unaware that he had passed outside the warded area of Hogwarts until he heard a voice shout a spell. He fell to the ground as the spell hit him. Severus groaned as pain lanced through his body. He had hit the ground hard and he was barely even aware of the muddy puddle he lay in as he struggled to remain conscious. The world span and danced across his eyes as his head was lifted harshly by a fistful of his hair. “Well, well, look what I’ve found.” Severus tensed as he recognised Lucius Malfoy’s voice. Lucius continued, his mouth pressed against Severus’ ear in an effort to be heard above the storm, “All alone, out in the dark. Were you looking for someone Severus?” L:ucius gave a small laugh as he let go of Severus’ hair and Severus collapsed back to the ground. Breathing harshly, Severus tried to focus enough to move. Suddenly, he cried out and curled in on himself, trying to protect his child and his internal organs as Lucius started to beat him with his silver tipped cane. He had known that there would be a price to pay for his lengthy refusal to have sex with Lucius, but he couldn’t believe that Malfoy would wait out here in the pouring rain on the off-chance of finding him. No, Voldemort must have sent Lucius to keep a watch on the grounds; the school was in greater peril than they had thought. Still, Lucius was nothing if not an opportunist and would not miss this chance to make Severus regret his behaviour. Blood trickling past his eyes, Severus looked up at Lucius as his face was illuminated by a flash of lightning and found that he was looking into the eyes of a madman. Sex and violence were Lucius Malfoy’s dominant interests and he was clearly anticipating being able to indulge in both of them that night. Severus gasped as pain lanced across his stomach and down into his back. Fear gripped his heart as he realised that the baby was coming. Oh Merlin, what a fool he was not to have recognised the earlier signs. He almost didn’t feel the latest blow from Malfoy’s cane catching him across the shoulder. Severus focussed and his vision cleared. He grabbed his wand and turned pointing it at Malfoy. He couldn’t risk an Unforgivable, much as he would have liked to have Malfoy screaming in pain. He couldn’t do anything that would give them an excuse to take his child from him. He had to hold onto that thought: his child. He had to find somewhere safe and soon. “Impedimenta,” he yelled. Before Lucius could fight to break free of the curse, Severus had pulled himself to his feet and begun staggering back towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest. With every step he took, he pushed his body further towards the limits of its endurance. Panic and sheer will were the only things keeping him on his feet. He felt a spell whistle past his ear as Malfoy, now free from Severus’ jinx, tried to halt his progress. Severus stumbled on, his heart in his mouth, barely able to breathe, not knowing how he kept on putting one foot in front of the other. He heard a wail behind him and looked around. He was stunned at the sight that met his eyes. Lucius’ ethereal figure was being illuminated by a yellow glow. His face was contorted in agony. The wards! Serverus realised that the protective wards that surrounded Hogwarts had let him through but were now protecting him and the rest of the Castle’s inhabitants from Lucius Malfoy. Severus sobbed with relief. He felt safe. The Castle, which was the only home he had known in so long, had recognised and protected him and his child. The moment of wonder was gone in a flash as another contraction tore Severus’ attention
back to his current predicament. He had to move on, to find somewhere safe,
away from Malfoy’s prying gaze, to deliver his child. He only hoped
and prayed that the magical presence that had just protected him, would
continue to watch over him. He needed its help like never before.
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