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Title: The Growth of Fear Author: Serpentess Fandom: Harry
Potter Pairing: SS/OC, SS/LV, SS/LM Summary: What do you do when you fear
discovery, betrayal, the past and the future? Archive: mpreg archive Rating:
NC17 Parts: 6/? Status: WIP Author’s note: Just thought I ought to make it clear that, as this story was started before Order of the Phoenix came out & as I have some major issues with that book anyway, this story ignores OOTP & just continues to go its own way.
Severus forced himself out of the scant shelter offered by the Forbidden Forest, back into the pouring rain. He did not make it far from the forest, before he was bent double as the pain became too much for him to bear. The lightning crackled across the sky, the primeval energy filling the air. Severus lay on the ground as the rain poured down on him, letting the pain envelop him. Panting as he fought for breath, he raised his wand and tried to clear his pain-crazed mind. ‘It’s now or never’ he thought and cast the charm. His stomach opened and he reached within himself, feeling for the baby. Finding it, he pulled it out, releasing it into the cold night air. The effort had exhausted him and he lay there, panting. His arms too weak to hold the child any longer, he rested it on his chest and moved his wand across his stomach in an attempt to heal the wound. He used his remaining strength to pull his cloak up to cover the child and cast a warming charm over it. Then he gave himself up to unconsciousness.
“I was just seeing Harry back to the Castle. He’s a good lad, came to help me feed the egrets. But anyway. I was just taking him ‘cross the grounds when I heard the baby cryin’,” said Hagrid. “I found Professor Snape lying on the ground by the Forbidden Forest. Soaked to the skin he was. He was in such a mess if he hadn’t been breathing I woulda thought he were dead. I carried them to the hospital wing.” “Well done Hagrid,” said Dumbledore heavily. “I’ll go and see Severus now.” “Will Professor Snape and the little’un be OK, Professor?” “I don’t know Hagrid, I hope so. We can’t afford to lose him.”
His attention was caught by a waving arm, rising out of a small box that was usually used to store medical supplies. He quietly moved over to it so as not to disturb Poppy. Looking down, he saw a tiny baby wrapped in a blanket. It had a few tufts of jet black hair and intense black eyes. There was no doubt that this was Severus’ child. The baby stared at Dumbledore, then opened its mouth and screamed. “Oh thank you very much Albus,” snapped Madame Pomfrey. “That’s just the perfect end to a perfect night.” Dumbledore picked the child up and tried to comfort it as Poppy continued her tirade. “Why the hell didn’t Severus tell us about this? Why does that man think he has to do everything on his own? Why didn’t anyone notice that something was wrong? They could both have died, Albus!” The child quieted and Dumbledore put it back into the box. He turned to Poppy and asked, “How is Severus?” He’s lost a lot of blood, he’s cold and dripping wet, but he should be awake by the morning. Although I’m tempted not to give him a numbing charm, see if a little pain’ll shake some sense into that stubborn head of his. How could he even think of dealing with this himself, with his lack of first aid skills!” Dumbledore put an arm around the medi-witch. “Why didn’t he trust us Albus?” she whispered. “I don’t know, I guess we’ll just have to ask him when he wakes up.” With that, Dumbledore went and settled himself by Snape’s bed, preparing himself for the night-long vigil. ‘How badly I must have failed you child, for you to try to go through this alone’ soon became ‘What else have you been hiding from me?’ as Dumbledore brooded late into the night.
“Awake, Severus?” Dumbledore had an annoying habit of stating the obvious. “I think you have a lot of explaining to do.” “Oh Dumbledore, leave him for now, I need to examine him.” Snape’s glare did nothing to dissuade the medi-witch who began to examine him, barely drawing breath as she berated him for his actions. Finally, pulling back, she said, “Well then Severus, would you like to see your son?” “A boy? He…he’s alive?” Severus could barely believe it. As Poppy began to move away, Severus’ arm shot out from under the bedclothes to catch her hand in a vice-like grip. “Is he alright?” he asked, in a panicked voice. “Yes, he’s fine although rather small. He got quite wet last night but he’s warm and dry now.” “I mean, did the spying and last night harm him?” ‘Last night…? Oh Severus. Although I wouldn’t recommend that someone get cursed whilst in labour, you seem to have been lucky.” “Yes, but…” “The lack of medical care throughout the pregnancy was just as risky if you ask me. How you could have even thought of going through this without a qualified medi-wizard? You take too many unnecessary risks with your health, Severus, and now that of your child too.” More abashed than Dumbledore had ever seen him, Severus looked down at the bedclothes. Interesting, Severus cared for the welfare of his child. He wanted the baby. Dumbledore’s attention was drawn back to the present as Poppy moved away from the bed. “Poppy?” Her hand fell from the curtain she had been about to pull back. “Yes Severus?” “Is he…is…he ugly?” he whispered the last word. “Ugly? Severus Snape, what will you come out with next? He’s perfect. If you let me go and get him, you’ll be able to see him for yourself.” Dumbledore moved to put his hand on Severus’ shoulder in a silent gesture of support. Questions and recriminations, he decided, could come later. Now, Severus needed to see his child. Poppy returned with a small bundle in her arms. All that Severus could see was a tiny black head poking out of the top of the blanket, but he heard a small whimper escape the child’s lips and his heart ached at the idea that his son should be upset yet, at the same time, leapt at this proof that he was indeed alive. “Come child, say hello to your father.” As he fearfully took the tiny bundle in his arms, Severus’ heart melted and he made a promise to himself that he would do better by his son than he had so far managed, no matter what it cost him.
“…And then Hagrid found Snape lying on the ground. I thought Voldemort had tortured him but as Hagrid carried Snape to the hospital wing, Snape’s cloak fell back to reveal a baby lying on his chest, but the weirdest thing was that it was linked to Snape by a sort of rope thing that went into his stomach. His stomach looked like someone had cut it open, it hadn’t healed properly and it was oozing blood. They were both soaking wet; Madame Pomfrey nearly had a fit at Snape dripping bloody water on her clean floor.” “What was Snape doing?” asked Ron in puzzlement. “Do you think he kidnapped a child?” Hermione tutted and gave them a pained expression. “It’s obvious what happened; Professor Snape gave birth to a baby last night.” “No way Hermione, he’s a man.” Ron spoke slowly as though Hermione was very slow and hadn’t grasped that simple fact yet. “I know that Ron,” she replied exasperatedly. “Male pregnancy is very rare but it does happen. I wonder what caused it.” “Poor kid though, fancy having Snape for a dad.” “Hey, do you think it’s got his nose, or his greasy hair?” “Realistically though Hermione, Snape can’t have had a baby, we’d have noticed if he were pregnant.” Harry spoke as though that was a certainty but one look at Hermione’s face showed him that she, for one, wasn’t convinced. Unimpressed, Hermione continued, “A simple cloaking or concealment charm would work to hide the physical signs of pregnancy. Although I don’t understand why he was so desperate to keep it secret.” Harry and Ron looked at Hermione as though she were mad. If they were pregnant, they wouldn’t want the entire school knowing about it. “I mean, it sounds like he nearly died last night. Madame Pomfrey can’t have known or she would have delivered the baby.” A sudden wave of sympathy swept across Hermione’s face and she said in a low voice, “Imagine having to go through being pregnant and giving birth alone. Last night must have been terrifying for him. Not even Dumbledore could have known as he would have got Madame Pomfrey to care for Snape.” She continued slowly, “No-one cared for Snape.”
Snape looked down at his son, refusing to meet Dumbledore’s penetrating gaze. “Will you co-operate Severus, or do I need to involve the Ministry?” Dumbledore asked in a harsher tone. Severus clutched his child closer to him, in fear of what the Ministry could do to them both. He took a deep breath, choked back a sob of frustration and whispered harshly, “What do you want to know…sir?” “How come you are able to conceive, Severus?” Snape sighed and said quietly, “Voldemort and my father were doing research into magical ways of making a man conceive and bear children who would become curse fodder in the Dark Lord’s army, raised to do his bidding. I was their guinea pig.” “Why were they doing the research?” “They thought that women were too sentimental and that they lost too much training time for their little Death Eaters having to deal with their ‘maternal instincts’.” “And … his father…?” Dumbledore said, gesturing down to the baby. “…Doesn’t know about him. I don’t want him to have anything to do with him.” “Do you really think that no-one will be curious as to his identity, after all, it does take two? Severus ground his teeth in frustration. “Is it Voldemort’s child?” “No, I swear it.” “Is it the child of a student?” Severus looked up in stunned astonishment and disgust. “Lord no, do you really think so little of me?” Severus sighed and looked down at his son, “His father has a legitimate heir. If I name him, you’ll be forced to tell the Ministry, who will put the name on his birth certificate. If he finds out…” Dumbledore looked at the man in the bed, whose head was tilted forward in a gesture of supplication. It was a sight he had seen only once before, many years ago, the night he had gained a spy in Voldemort’s ranks. What could Severus be turned to in exchange for this favour? “I may accept this but people will still be curious as to the identity of the other father. The existence of the child is tantamount to a statement that you are a practicing homosexual. Such ‘proclivities’ are not widely accepted in our society. Gossip is difficult to counter; it may get back to the other father. He may suspect his role in all this.” Severus looked defeated as Dumbledore continued, “Perhaps I could find someone who would pretend to be this young fellow’s other father. Provide an alibi, so to speak.” Wondering what in Hades he was committing himself to, Severus nodded: there was no other option, although he suspected that this ‘favour’ would cost him dearly.
He went back to his list. No students or recent graduates from Hogwarts – that would raise unwanted questions about Severus’ suitability to remain at Hogwarts. To be homosexual was bad enough but to even be suspected of being a paedophile would be enough to start a witch-hunt the like of which their society had never seen. Nobody who worked for the Ministry could be used as they would undoubtedly lose their position within hours. The Ministry refused to employ homosexuals as it feared that they were too easy a target for dark wizards to blackmail (never mind the fact the problem wouldn’t exist if the Ministry didn’t fire gays just for being gay and therefore necessitate a state of fear, secrecy and denial). Albus needed all his spies in the Ministry. Remus Lupin was out as werewolves were sterile. Really, that just left Sirius Black. Yes, now there was the answer. Black had no family left who would cause a fuss in feigned moral outrage at the idea that he could have sunk so low as to bed Snape. The press might be briefly interested if they heard of it but interest in Black had dropped ever since Pettigrew had been sighted and allowed Dumbledore to finally convince the Ministry that Black was innocent. Yes, Black owed him. His hatred of Severus was so passionate that few would find it difficult to believe that it hid other deeper emotions, especially given the interest Sirius had shown as a child in Severus’ sexuality. Plus, Sirius could be counted on to keep an eye on Snape, something that they needed to do considering the number of things he had been hiding from them lately. Yes, Sirius would keep Severus in line and, as long as there was no actual bloodshed, everything would be perfect. Sirius wouldn’t be happy about this but Albus thought that he was on to another winning idea.
“Headmaster, I came as soon as I got your owl.” “Ah, prompt as ever Sirius. Thank-you. Could I interest you in some tea or perhaps a scone or two? No? Are you sure? They really are lovely with jam and cream.” “Headmaster, with all due respect, could we get down to business? Has something happened to Harry?” “No, no, Harry is fine, although possibly rather confused.” Dumbledore gestured to Sirius to sit down and, irritated beyond belief but knowing better than to try to rush Dumbledore’s explanation, Sirius sat. Ten minutes later, Fawkes could be heard screeching in anger at being rudely awakened by the shouting of a livid Sirius Black. “How dare you? You’ve finally gone out of your mind, old man! How could you ask me to…to…?” Sirius put his hand against the wall to support himself as he came close to fainting at the realisation of what Dumbledore wanted him to do. It was disgusting! “Nobody would ever believe that he and I…ugh!” Sirius shivered in disgust. It stunned him that anyone could consider Snape in such a light. He still hadn’t come to terms with the pregnancy element of Dumbledore’s tale either. He knew Voldemort and Aurelius Snape had been twisted but this went far beyond his wildest nightmares. “Why not?” Dumbledore’s calm tone shocked Sirius to the core. The old wizard thought that this was acceptable? Well, it wasn’t to him. “I’m not a queer!” he screamed. “No-one who knows me would believe it for a second. Everyone knows that I’ve always hated Snape for being a shirt-lifting, pillow-biting, faggy little queer.” “Who is everyone?” Dumbledore asked calmly, watching in amusement as Sirius opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, totally and utterly lost for words. “I don’t foresee Narcissa rushing forward to defend the family honour, do you? Many people from your own schooldays are no longer with us. The children here now don’t know anything about your inclinations in that department. Granted, Remus may suspect, but seeing as you and he believed each other capable of betraying Lily and James for well over ten years, I’m sure you can convince him that you’ve grown beyond childish bigotry. Or tell him that Azkabahn changed you!” Sirius stifled a bark of amusement at that last comment. “Well, I suppose if the Ministry could be made to believe that Azkabahn turned wizards gay, they might finally be persuaded to close it down. I can’t believe I’m considering this on any level,” he snapped in fury at being so neatly sidetracked by Dumbledore. “I won’t tell anyone, not even Voldemort himself, that I got Snape up the duff, in the club, with child. No way!” As Sirius turned to go, Dumbledore said, “Well, that’s part of the problem, of course.” Sighing, his shoulders falling in defeat, Sirius said weakly, “What is?” “Voldemort and his followers. Although Severus refuses to name the father, it doesn’t take a genius to deduce that the likelihood is that the other father is a Deatheater. We need to keep a closer eye on Severus than we have been of late. He concealed a pregnancy from us. He has not been telling us the truth about the nature of his relationship with at least one Deatheater. What if he starts to believe that his and his child’s interests will be better served by returning to Voldemort?” “Two less greasy little gits to worry about! Where’s your problem?” “My problem is that Severus knows too much about the Order and our plans to bring down Voldemort for us to let him fall into the enemy’s hands.” “What makes you think he would go back to them?” “If they threatened his child, I believe he would do whatever they wanted to guarantee its safety, even if that meant betraying us.” “So you want me to spy on your spy?” Sirius smirked in amusement. ‘And if I won’t?” Dumbledore let the challenge hang in the air for a full minute before responding, “You are free because I have vouched for you. Surely a little favour in return isn’t too much to ask?” “Little favour? You only want me to pretend to be a queer, a desperate one at that, ‘cos you’d have to be to touch Snape with anything other than a six foot bargepole, and pretend to have sired his spawn into the bargain. I’d hate to see what you consider to be calling in a big favour.” The two men’s eyes met and Sirius acknowledged that he’d been outmanoeuvred by the older wizard. He’d get that greasy git for this humiliation, one day.
Finally, he accepted the plan. He had no choice. He had sworn to do what he must for his child. He currently had no other option but to remain at Hogwarts, therefore, he had to accept Dumbledore’s plan. Once he had been left in peace, he settled his son in his arms and tried
to work out why Black was doing this. Black was an out and out homophobe,
always had been. Why would he agree to pretend that he had slept with any
man, let alone him? Severus knew that he needed to keep his wits about
him where these Gryffindors were concerned. He looked down at his son,
such an eventful start to life and not even twenty-four hours old. He couldn’t
even think about what was to come next.
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