Siverus Snop, Severus Snape and an unreasoned Pregnancy.
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This story is based on this set me and my friend made. We were bored
so we got out this clay stuff called Fimo.
Disclaimers: I don't own Snape or Gilderoy Lockhart or numerous other
things in this...
Me and my friend Holly own: A Strange Snape figure I made, Snape's
Cauldron, Snape's Desk, Snape's Wand(even though I've lost it), A
Mutant Potion bottle, Siverus Snop, Pregnant Snape and his Fez, The
mutant owl, snape's Magic carpet(Don't ask... I don't understand!),
a mutant figure of me(Holly made that... That's why my hair sticks
up... We were having fun making fun of each other), A mutant figure
of Holly(I made that, That's why her feet are too big to stand on),
A Mutant Figure of Gilderoy Lockhart and Baby Snape which is currently
not named... But it originally owned Pregnant Snape's Fez.
Maybe I should have asked Holly if I could include her in this first...
Too bad!
'Severus, Can I hold Enid now?' Charlotte asked whinily.
'No, She needs to be fed later.' Severus said cradelling the baby
in his arms.
'How exactly are you going to feed her?' Holly pointed out.
'We could buy a cow?' Charlotte suggested.
'I could become a cow!' Siverus Suggested.
'Why? Are you an animagus?' Charlotte asked.
'Only if I sellotape Milk Bottles to my stomach.' Siverus replied.
'Okay, Right.' Charlotte said.
'We need to feed Enid, Or she'll die.' Severus said.
'This is what happens when Men get pregnant. They can't feed the
kid because they don't have... what's required.' Holly said.
'What's required?' Siverus asked stupidly. Holly and Severus just
gave him a deadly stare.
'What?' he asked.
'Come on! Even I know that and I'm blonde!' Charlotte shouted.
'Shut up Ugly!' Holly said. Charlotte didn't protest against the
name because she is used to it(it's true!).
'Allright.' Charlotte said quietly.
'Let's watch an alan Rickman film!' Siverus shouted.
'How about we watch a wall, It's much more exciting.' Holly said
sarkily.
'Okay! That's my favorite!' Siverus said sitting cross legged and
staring at the blank wall.
'I feel sorry for my baby.' Severus said feeling sorry for himself
and Enid.
'We better go shopping for the baby.' Holly ordered, 'Remember that
she is naked right now.'
'No, She's not. She's wearing a nappy!' Charlotte pointed out. Holly
raised a fist. Charlotte knew to shut up.
'Oooh!!!! Let's get her this!' Siverus said when they were in a
big shopping mall.
'We are not getting my baby a motor bike!' Severus shouted.
'But it'd be SSSSOooooo cool!' Siverus moaned.
'I don't care!' Severus hissed dragging his brother away from the
window.
They walked in to a baby clothes store.
'Oooh! Look at this! Isn't it cute!' Charlotte said looking at some
Legend Of Zelda pyjamas.
'It's lovely.' Severus said sarcastically.
'Let's get it!' Charlotte smiled.
'No.' Severus said sternly.
'How about we get her this?' Charlotte asked holding out a little
pink coverall suit with bunny ears and a little bunny tail.
'How about, No!' Severus and holly chorused.
'Holly, She's not even your daughter! Why do you have to choose?'
Charlotte moaned.
'I don't know. But it looks stupid.' Holly said coolly. Well, Cooly
as in Calmly. Not cool as in 'Hey Groovy'... I better shut up or
Holly will hit me when she reads this. Unless you are Holly then
all I can say is this....
'Don't hit me!' Charlotte whined.
'Shut up then, Or I'll hit you and add a letter to Alan Rickman so
that it is seemingly rude.' Holly hissed.
Charlotte automatically shut up.
They got some outfits and then went out into the Mall.
'Charlotte, Let's go get some food as Severus has the inability to
produce any.' Holly said.
'Hey! It's not my fault! If I were Female, Then I could!' Severus
hissed.
After Severus's last comment, Holly and Charlotte went off to a small
ASDA to buy food. Severus, Siverus and little baby Enid(who was pulling
sev's hair) went to a video store.
'We should get her some little kiddie videos for her to watch.'
Severus said. 'Like that clifford the big red dog rubbish.' Severus
said searching through some baby videos.
'Let's get her this!' Siverus said holding up a video with some extremely
unexplainable content(ie, Very RUDE extremely Unenexplainable content).
'No!' Severus hissed as some woman with Prams pushed past giving
worried glances.
'Siverus, Look for Videos YOUR age while I look for something for
the baby.'
'Okay.' Then Siverus twodled away.
'Okay, Enid, what video do you want?' Severus asked the little Enid
who had looked away from him for a second.
She pointed laughing to a picture of two people being unspeakably
naughty.
'You've been hanging around with Siverus haven't you? Or Charlotte!
I tell you they're both as bad as each other!' Severus shouted.
Some parents covered thier childrens ears and left the shop as some
extremely explicit language followed.
'Sev! Lookies what I got!' Siverus shouted waltzing over.
'WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!?!?!' Severus shouted in a fit of rage.
'Moulin Rouge!' Siverus replied holding up the video case for Lord
of the Rings.
'That, My simple minded brother, is lord of the rings.' Severus breathed
heavily.
'Oooh! Let's get this!' Charlotte said holding up a large bottle
of Vodka.
'Are you sure you haven't been drinking it?' Holly asked with a slanted
eyebrow.
'What's wrong with it?' Charlotte asked thickly.
'Enid... is a baby. Babies... Don't drink Vodka.' Holly said.
'Bacardi Breezers then? Full of fruity fun goodness!' Charlotte smiled
holding up a bottle of Bacardi Breezer.
Holly walked away pretending that Charlotte didn't exist.
'Hey! It was an idea!' Charlotte shouted after about a minute of
not noticing.
'Let's look in the video section incase Siverus comes back with something
totally unsuitable.' she said.
'Wow! That is the first sensible thing you have said... ever!' Holly
said excitedly.
Charlotte just smiled stupidly.
They went over to the video section of ASDA and there, looking at
some Hornblower Videos, Was their Friend Faye.
'Ooh! Ioen Gruffudd my Pretty!' Faye was mumbling to herself.
'Faye!' Charlotte shouted.
'Charlotte!' Faye shouted.
'And the intellectual conversation carries on.' Holly said to herself.
'Thank god we found you, Or I'll need to shop with Charlotte alone.
She was just trying to purchase alcohol for a two week year old baby.'
'Charlotte's naughty! Charlotte's naughty!' Faye chorused as she
does on a common basis.
Suddenly Siverus and Severus with Enid ran into the store.
'Hey what's up my babe?' Charlotte smiled to Severus.
'We got kicked out. Something to do with unexplainable language'
Severus panted.
'Sev is naughty, Sev is naughty!' Faye chorused.
'Did I say anything about Faye having any Sanity?' Holly said.
After they had purchased thier food, Holly, faye and Charlotte asked
Severus what they bought.
'We bought the super Alan Rickman Video stack!' Siverus said excitedly.
'Siverus I could kiss you! But Sev'd get upset.' Charlotte said over
the top with happiness.
'Good thing we've got the tweenies instead.' Holly said.
'Um.... No we don't. I replaced them for Hornblower videos.' Faye
said nervousley.
After Holly had throttled Faye half to Death Twice, they went home.
Faye who was half alive came too.
'Let's watch some nice Alan Rickman videos!' Charlotte said. 'Dibs
on Dogma!'
'Me and Holly would rather... strangle ourselves while swallowing
live snakes in a pool of Hydrochloric Acid.' Faye said.
While Charlotte, Siverus and Severus watched Dogma, Holly and Faye
had the unfortunate job of changing Enid's nappy.
'EEW!!!!!!' Faye said.
'There's no bin anywhere. Where shall we put it?' Holly said.
'Um...' Faye thought.
'I know!' Holly said. Then she whispered where in Fayes ear... A
menacing grin crept onto Faye's face.
A Bit later(okay, A lot later) Severus was lying in his bed and he
was rather uncomfortable. He was lying on something.
Siverus and Charlotte suddenly ran in and started jumping on Severus'
bed.
Nobody noticed the two dark creeping shadows of Faye and Holly in
the corner.
'Haven't you two noticed that I'm trying to sleep?' Severus barked.
Siverus and Charlotte stopped for a second.
Then they carried on jumping.
Severus was sure that what he was lying on was sub liquid. Then recognition
dawned on him and he jumped out the bed faster than Homer Simpson
gets drunk.
'What's up?' Charlotte asked whinily as she was pushed onto the floor.
Everyone stared as Severus appeared to be dancing but he was actually
having an angry fit.
Everyone stopped and listened, A Strange eery giggling filled the
room. It seemed to be coming from behind the curtains.
Charlotte and Siverus hid behind the sofa and Severus pulled open
the curtain so that Faye and Holly fell out unable to move in hysterics.
Siverus and Charlotte had to rush and cover baby Enid's ears as Severus
started using some language that was a little outside the babies
range.
'Better now?' Charlotte asked Severus.
Severus growled angrily in response.
'I'll get you a cup of tea.' She said thickly.
Faye and holly were still laughing on the floor.
Siverus was still hiding behind the couch.
Enid was still sleeping in her cot.
Severus was on the verge of killing people.
