Author: Restina Lovebug
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: SS/HP
Archive: Sure! :) Just let me know first
Feedback: Please, yes! I need to know if I'm on to something here, or completely off tracks! :)

And a BIG hug and thanks to my two helping dears, Marie-J and Azrah! Your support and help is priceless and greatly appreciated! ;)

I wish that I could cry,
fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
about a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd,
but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
but won't you concede-
even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be- me.

Fragment from Superman, by Five for Fighting

The Curse, part 10

Severus recovered quickly from the accident down in the dungeons. After three days in bed he felt strong enough to jump out of bed. Or to be more precise, arch his way up.. It felt nice being able to wobble around in the halls again, at least his heavy belly didn't weigh him down as much as it did when he laid flat in bed. With two and a half weeks to go he was starting to get impatient. He just wanted to get it over with. All this waiting and the sleepless nights were wearing him down, and he hadn't seen Harry at all the last couple of days. He missed him although he knew this was for the best. He had to get used to the idea of spending the rest of his life alone. But he would be blessed with their child.

Madame Pomfry had been most painful to cope with during this ordeal. She had wanted to do a physical check-up on him, but he had denied her to do anything more than a small check-up on his back, wearing his nightshirt. She nagged and nagged about how important it was for her to actually see his back, and to do some scans, but Severus was stubborn. There was no way she would get any chance to reveal his secret! So she had to settle for the next best thing. Hermione and Ron had dared their way down to see to him from time to time and this surprised him. Especially Ron's presence. And it pained him equally that Harry never found any time to see him.

*-*

The next week dragged away like an endless night. Severus felt gravity pulling every single hour of the day, trying to drag him down. The weight balance in his stomach shifted, making him feel even heavier. This probably was the child preparing for birth, turning its head downwards. And Harry still was as distant as he had been after the accident down in the dungeons. He never met Severus' gaze anymore in classes, at meals or in the hallway. Severus supposed Harry was starting to feel the pressure of the near coming event and needed time to cope. And Severus counted the days to when his secret would be revealed. One week and a half. Albus should be back in three, four days, just in time for the biggest scandal of all time at Hogwarts. A teacher having a child with a student!

He felt uncomfortable no matter what. His appetite grew small and dark rings formed beneath his eyes. Minerva asked him kindly how he was doing one Monday and he'd answered her fine, and thereby he'd escaped to his private quarters bawling his eyes out. He didn't feel fine at all! He was big, fat and ugly and he was so tired he just wanted to lie down and sleep a hundred years. He hated his body. The skin on his belly was stretched so tight it ached all the time, and his back ached due to the strain it was under. Thankfully the baby had calmed down lately, probably due to the lack of space to rumble in. Severus felt time was closing in, it could only be a matter of a couple of days. He didn't know whether to be glad for this or to dread like a dog. But he knew he didn't have the strength to continue like this much longer..

*-*

He first noticed it late one night he was tossing in bed trying to get some sleep. It was a small stabbing pain in the back, not long- lasting that returned every thirty minutes or so. Severus didn't think too much about it. It could be anything and he didn't bother with getting upset, excited or whatever he was supposed to be. He had four hours of Potions Classes to teach the following day and his mind settled on that and he ignored the cramps the following hours.

He felt like he'd gained a ton when he got out of bed the following morning. But the cramps weren't getting any worse, and they weren't easing off either. He reckoned it would do him good to move his body and to eat some breakfast. He felt like a penguin as he made his way to the great hall for the first meal of the day. Students were giggling as he went by them and despite his usual self Severus ignored them. He sat down by the teachers' table and tried to eat, but felt too bloated. Instead his eyes wandered down to the table where Harry was seated. Harry didn't return his gaze. He looked too preoccupied with a conversation with Ron. Severus sighed. He had a feeling this would be one of the longest days in his life.

*-*

Harry felt guilty. Of course he did! He didn't like avoiding Snape like this, but he had to. Something would happen if he didn't watch himself, Harry could feel it. His heart jumped every time he caught a glimpse of Severus and he always had that image in his head for the rest of the day if so. Now he'd just glimpsed up at the teachers' table by lunch and he'd seen a man looking paler than usual and with no appetite what so ever. And his mind started to race. Severus had to be dead tired by now, with only two weeks left or something like that it was only natural he'd look a little worn. Harry wished Severus would stop doing this to himself. He was wearing himself out couldn't he see that? He should rest and gain some strength before the birth, not work like there was nothing going on! Harry decided to have a talk with him in the nearest future, but not today. Today he had his final Quidditch match of the year, probably his last Quidditch match ever and nothing would take his mind of that.

Still his thoughts stayed with Severus all through the day. And as he soared to the air on his Firebolt he noticed Severus wasn't there. He usually didn't miss a Quidditch match, so Harry found this odd. But as the game started all this left Harry's mind. Now there was nothing else in his head except the need to catch the golden snitch and win his last game. And as a born star Harry did what everyone expected, winning the game for his team and providing Gryffindor with the Quidditch Cup. The rest of the day was a feast of food and happiness and Harry never thought anymore about the reason why Snape hadn't attended the game. He went to bed late at night, heart bulging with pride, and he fell asleep almost immediately. Just then, something Ron's sister had mentioned earlier suddenly struck his sleeping mind. She had been at a potions class after lunch and she'd told Ron Snape had gotten a weird expression on his face during the class. He had bent over like he had a stomachache or something and she even thought he looked a little afraid. Ron guessed this probably was another baby kick and Harry had agreed.

It was late night when Harry woke with a start. He heard the door creaking and some light had found its way in the pitch-dark room as the door slowly opened. Severus Snape came staggering into the room, leaning against the wall, clutching his stomach with his right arm. His breath was rapid and even in the dark his eyes seemed to burn with pain.

"H-harry.." A soft moan came from the man as he continued inside, careful not to wake anyone but Harry.

"Severus! What's wrong?!" Harry got out of bed and jumped towards the crouching man.

"I.. I think.. it's .. coming." Severus gasped and took one more halting step towards Harry. His face was wet with sweat:

"I thought I could.. handle it alone... but.." Severus feet were starting to cave in under him. Harry had him lean on his shoulder.

"I'm taking you to Hermione's room, she's head-girl this year and has the room all to her self," Harry whispered as he helped Severus out the door.

*-*

All day long, Severus had done his best to hide the pain that had taken a hold of his body, but it became harder and harder. How he had managed to stay on his feet and teach classes at the end of the day he had no idea. But when time came for the Quidditch match there was no way he could act as he was just fine any more. Contractions tore his body slowly apart, and the only thing he could think of was to lie down and get some rest between every contraction. He had bumped into Minerva on his way down to the dungeons, cold sweat on his forehead and a pained look on his features.

"Severus, I really think you're going too far with this research of yours!" she said as he tried to stagger past her. She didn't let him pass her though, strict look on her face.

"You'll stop this fattening right now, or I will complain to the headmaster when he comes back!" Severus really didn't need this right now. He looked calmly at her and told her to step aside through gritted teeth. But Minerva didn't nudge one millimeter.

"You're sick, Severus. I've been standing on the sideline far to long, letting you do this to your self. But now it has to stop!" Conveniently another contraction jerked hold of his back as he tried to look amused by the old witch's sincere concern.

"Please, woman! If it pleases you I'll stop right now, all right?! No more experimenting. I'll just stop eating and get slim again, just as you want. Now, PLEASE let me pass you- I do not have the time to stand in a hall squabbling with an old witch with a long nose!" His voice was no more than a growl, and he bared his teeth like a wolf trapped in a corner. It worked. Minerva moved aside, looking pretty upset and for once lost for words.

He dragged himself down to his private quarters and crushed down in bed, wishing the pain would go away for a while so he could get some rest. He was too tired for this right now, he just wanted to get some sleep. But he knew he had hours of pain ahead of him and that Albus wouldn't be there to save him this time.

The problem with a magical conceived child is that it has to be born "unmagically". Any spell cast to ease the pain of the one giving birth could very well kill the infant. Any natural drugs could stop the birth, as it was not a normal birth. Basically Severus had hell in front of him and he knew this only too well. But the pain wasn't what felt worst. Severus was afraid. He had never felt so afraid or alone his whole miserable life. He, the fearless alchemist was so afraid he cried in his own bed. He had been so sure he would get through this without any help at all, deal with the pain and the loneliness, but now he felt more alone than ever. And as the contractions soared through his body- his soul and mind grew weaker, his hope crumbled into dust. As the night slowly covered Hogwarts in its cold blanket Severus knew he had to get some help or else he would surly die. No matter how much it would pain him, Severus had to beg Harry for help.

*-*

Now, he looked so worn out Harry was astounded Severus had managed to get this far all by himself. He was panting heavily as he tried to match Harry's slow pace. When they finally were down the stairs and in front of Hermione's door Harry could barely hold him up anymore. He knocked softly on the door. No answer. He knocked harder, still no answer. Harry had one look on Severus and decided there was no time to be polite. He opened the door and helped Severus inside.

"Hermione!" He kept his voice down as he helped the hurting man toward Hermione's bed.

"Hermione wake up!" To his great surprise two shadows stirred and the well-known grunt of Ron Weasly when someone wakes him up too early in the morning would in other circumstances have been quite amusing. But not now. Severus needed help, fast.

"Harry, what is it?" Hermione asked, sounding rather irritated as she fumbled around in the semidarkness to find the switch of the light on her nightstand. The dark figure of Ron jumped out of bed and seemed to be searching for something. The light went on, and there he stood in a pink pair of boxers.

"Mione!" he squealed but piped down immediately when he noticed Harry wasn't alone.

"Please, he needs to lay down.. I couldn't drag him all the way back to the dungeons," Harry said and helped Severus to sit on the side of Hermione's bed. Hermione was blushing heavily, but regained her old self soon enough to remember to put on a T-shirt before she jumped out of the bed.

"Here, lay him down," she said and moved the blanket for them. Severus arched down to his side and then over to his back, face covered with sweat, pain and exhaustion. Harry started to unbutton his coat and shirt, while Hermione helped him off with his shoes.

"How long have you been sick?" Harry asked Severus as he slowly worked his way down the buttons of the Professor's clothes.

"Twenty four hours.. give.. or take.." the Professor answered with a moan. His night-black locks were soaking wet, and so were most of his clothes. But most disturbing was another fluid staining his shirt and some of his cloak- blood. Harry felt desperation and fear fill his head as he touched the bloodstained fabric. He got an urge to run away and hide, as so many times before during the last few months. But he saw the fear reflecting in dark eyes and knew there was no way he could leave this man now.

"Twenty four hours?" he replied: "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Beacuse I thought.. I could handle it.. I've only been having ..heavy contractions since lunch..time." Severus had a pityful look on his face. Harry was ashamed he hadn't noticed his supposed soul mate's pain. He'd been selfish, only thinking about himself and some stupid Quidditch-match.

Hermione had a look on Severus' belly. She looked deeply concerned and ordered Ron to get a wet cloth. Harry knew she had been reading up on everything she could find about male pregnancies during the last few weeks. She had told him that the man's bellybutton had to be eight to ten centimeters dilated before the birth-passage was wide enough for the baby to pass. And besides there was awfully many elements that could go wrong during such a birth.

Harry felt sick. All that blood, poring out of a hole of Severus' body! How much blood had he already lost, how much blood would he loose? And to see his face contort in pain every time a new contraction ravaged his body. Hermione washed most of the red fluid away so that he could see how far the labor had come.

"Three centimeters.." she said, her voice more tense than what Harry liked. Severus clutched his arms around his belly and he seemed to be fighting the urge to scream.

"Help him sit up," Hermione said, "That will help him work the contractions." Ron and Harry held Severus up while Hermione arranged the pillows to support his back. Severus panted and writhed slightly, but kept surprisingly still.

"I think we should get Madame Pomfrey," Hermione said after wiping Severus forehead with a clean cloth.

"No," Severus breathed and looked her straight in the eye. "Don. don't get. her.. I'll manage.. just a few more minutes and..I'll be.. fully dial.." A small whimper escaped his throat and he clenched his hands into fists.

"Please, Professor- don't hold back! Work with the pain, don't try to will it away. That will only drain your energy." Hermione looked at Harry: "Help him, Harry, he needs to let go!" Harry looked small and afraid, and he knew it. He had no idea how to support this man whose stomach was tearing itself slowly apart. So he did the only thing he could think of, he took Severus' hand and held it tight. Severus clinged to him like a lost child and finally let out a growl. More blood. Harry felt his heart beating faster and faster. He realised he feared for Severus' life and that the grip around his hand was becoming weaker and weaker by the minute. A sudden contraction seemed to have caught the professor by surprise and a scream flung up his throat with such intensity Harry was sure he would hear it again and again in his future nightmares.

"Ron, get Madame Pomfrey, NOW! The Professor needs more help than the three of us can provide." Hermione was determined and there was nothing that could change her mind when she was like this. Her features were cut in stone and her eyes flashed as she bent down to explain the situation to the Potions Master.

"The progress is to slow, Sir. And I fear that both yours and the baby's lives are at stake if you don't get proper help right now." A weak nod was all the answer she got. It seemed like the last of Severus' strength had left with the last contraction, together with the scream that had nearly raptured both his lungs. Harry felt him slowly drift away between the cramps now, only to be ripped back to reality when a new cramp set in. Severus' gaze grew distant, his breathing shallow. Hermione was really worried, and Harry was scared out of his wits.

"Severus, stay with me now, you hear?" Harry squeezed his hand and brushed a cold cheek with a trembling finger. His eyelids flickered before he looked straight at Harry, bottomless hurt scorching his eyes.

"The baby.." he whispered: "I need you to.." Severus had fainted. Tears stung Harry's eyes as he desperately tired to wake the man on the bed looking more dead than alive.

"Severus! You must stay awake, do you hear me, stay awake!!!" Harry started to shiver to the lack of response from the passed out man. The sound of approaching steps caught his ear. Next thing Madame Pomfrey came soaring through the door with an expression of both fury and fear on her face, dressed in a long white night-dress. She didn't say a word, just marched straight to the bed and pinched Severus' cheek. No response.

"RON! My medical-bag!" she roared at the precise moment Ron entered the room with flushing cheeks and heavy breathing.

"How long has he been this way?" Madam Pomfrey checked the passed out man's pulse. She made Harry and Hermione lay Severus down flat on his back again to reduce the pressure on the baby.

"A..a couple of minutes!" Harry stuttered. The mediwitch opened the bag Ron had handed her and sorted through what seemed like hundreds of small bottles with different fluids in them.

"Oh dear, why do I never take the time to tidy up this mess?!" she gnarled through gritted teeth as she tossed one bottle after another harshly away.

Finally she seemed to have found what she was looking for and leaned over to spill the contents down Severus' throat.

"Come on, come on you stubborn old bastard!!" she growled to the lifeless man. Hermione was crying in the corner, Ron was comforting her as best he could while crying himself. Harry couldn't cry. There were no tears inside him. He was a desert, still he wanted to scream, yell, and roar for Severus to wake up. He didn't want this! He wanted Severus alive, he wanted the baby alive. Maybe he wasn't suited to be a father or to be Severus' soul mate, but that didn't mean he wanted them dead!!!

A hoarse gasp and panicked inhales of air sounded as music to everybody's ears. Severus had been hauled back again with the life- bringing potion Madame Pomfry had given him. He looked no better, though. But he was breathing, and that was a start.

"Poppy?" he breathed as he blinked to state where he was: "What.."

"Severus, if it wasn't for your current condition I would slap you!" Madame Pomfrey said with eyes throwing lightning: "What were you thinking hiding this from me? Do you have any idea of the danger you have put yourself in??!"

"Don't blame him," Harry said and touched her shoulder with a begging hand: "He did it to protect me." Madame Pomfrey turned her flashing gaze towards Harry:

"And why is that, if I may ask?!"

"I'm the father." Harry said barely audible, a cloud of guilt covered his eyes as he fought with the shame welling inside him. Her eyes bulged to the point of no recognition, but she calmed down immediately.

"Now, well. I'll deal with the pair of you later. Now we have a baby to deliver!" She bent down over Severus' stomach and moved her hands over it carefully.

"Something's not right here," she mumbled and ignored a small whimper from Severus who suddenly looked even more disturbed.

"Severus, dear," she said now with her voice low and calm, no trace of anger left in her features: "This is going too slowly. Twenty four hours is a long labor and you're not even fully dilated yet. I'm afraid I need to feel how the baby's doing and that means I have to be a bit rough. I'm gonna place my hands on your stomach and decide how the baby is positioned, all right?" Tears of pain were streaming down the face of the dog tired man, but he gave his consent with a small nod. Harry didn't know whether to go hold Severus' hand or to keep out of Pomfrey's way so he stayed put.

"Harry?" a whisper came from the bed. Uncertain eyes, a trembling hand. Harry sat down on his knees by the bed, holding Severus' fingers. A relieved sigh came from the hurting man and Madame Pomfrey went ahead with her work.

A minute later Severus had vomited all over himself and he now felt so utterly humiliated he was sure he couldn't sink any lower. The pressure provided to his stomach by Poppy's trained hands were to much for his stomach-sack and it had done the only thing possible, ridded it self with the food it was digesting. Maybe he should be thankful it came up an didn't continue down and out an even more humiliating place, but Severus was to tired to thank any lucky star for such things right now.

Harry was cleaning him as best as he could, while Madame Pomfrey continued her examination with excruciating results.

"I think he's gonna throw up again! Ron, help me get him over to the side!" Harry's voice somewhere in front of the mist that covered his eyes. He felt the all too well known sensation of something flushing up his throat and out his mouth again. He had done a fair deal of vomiting down in the dungeons the previous hours. This time he wrenched the last drop of gastric juice up his throat and was sure he would start puking intestines any second.

"Roll him over again, I need to finish this no matter how painful it is," Madame Pomfrey said in an apologetic voice. Severus sensed being rolled over to his back again and felt the mediwitch's hard hands over his abdomen once more. He felt Harry's hand embrace his and clutched back, terrified he might let go. Finally Madame Pomfrey removed her hands and the horrible pressure eased a tad.

"No wonder you're not doing any progress, Severus, the baby lays the wrong way!" she said and cleaned her blood stained hands.

"No, ..that's not true," he answered weakly: "I know for a fact the baby has turned with its head down, it's been kicking me in the ribs to state it to!" He saw two Poppy's hovering over him.

"Well, you're both right and wrong," she answered: Yes, the baby lays with her head down, but as you are a man, and this pregnancy is a magically generated one, she's supposed to be positioned with her nose up towards your navel. Now she lies with her head facing your spine. That means that if you try to push, and succeed doing so- you may break her neck!" If Severus hadn't looked pale before he certainly did now. If he hadn't gone and seeked help, if he had stayed in the dungeons and tended to the birth himself he would have killed the baby. Harry's baby! The only thing that had kept him sane and determined for the last nine months! A dry rattle that would have been a sob if he had had the strength for it went through his chest. He could have been a killer!

Madame Pomfrey leaned closer to him and stroke his chin with a reassuring finger:

"I have to go in with my hands to turn her around. Now, I'm not gonna lie to you, Severus- this will hurt! But it's the only way we can save her life. She's under a lot of strain right now and we have no time to loose. I'm gonna give you a light potion to help with the pain, but the most important thing for you now is NOT to push! No matter how natural and important if feels, don't push. Pushing may make things worse for both you and the baby right now, you understand?" Severus only wanted Poppy to save the baby so he could fall asleep and never wake up again. He had no idea how he was to survive with Poppy's hands inside him when he'd been beyond agony with her hands on top of him.

*-*

Severus' features shimmered in the glow from the lamp next to him on the nightstand. He was so covered in sweat and agony Harry wondered how the man could ever recover. The blood was poring out the tear in Severus' belly and now Madame Pomfrey was going to wrench her hands through it!

"Harry, Ron! We need to move the bed away from the wall. This way you can hold Severus down on both sides. He needs to lay perfectly still while I do this procedure and spite as weakened as he is I still believe he is able to move if it hurts bad enough. And Hermione, you'll tie down his legs for me while I give him some sedatives." Hermione looked pale, but she did what she was told. Severus Snape desperately tried to jerk his feet away from her grip, but had no chance. Harry watched in silence. It was horrible to see Severus being tied down like a wild animal. And he would have to hold him down while the mediwitch stuck her hands down his navel! He wanted to throw up, but the voice of Madame Pomfrey cut like a knife in his brain.

"Harry Potter, get a move on! Help Ron move the bed, we have no time to loose here!" she screamed while searching for another bottle down her medical bag.

"Hey, there's no need to scream at me!!" Harry yelled back. He was now so out of his mind of fear and despair this shouting witch made his life hell.

"Harry, calm down." Ron patted him on the shoulder: "Help me move the bed now, OK?" Harry sent Madame Pomfrey a scowling gaze and did what Ron had told him. He knew she probably was just as upset as he was and that it was nothing personal that made her scream at him, but he had too many nerves outside his skin right now, he just didn't cope.. Snape had a look of retreat on his face that Harry didn't like at all. He'd given up, Harry was sure of it. And when he'd moved the bed he bent down and tried to get some sort of contact with the man, but he seemed to be near passing out again.

"Severus, Severus?" There was a mumbling response and Severus Snape turned towards him with begging eyes.

"Listen, I know I've said a lot of harsh things lately, but you mustn't worry about that now. Think about the baby and yourself, you hear?" Harry squeezed a lame hand and tried feverishly to cope with the raging war that went on inside him right now.

There were two sides. There was the side that saw the old Snape, the Potions Master, his old fiend. That side saw the man loathing everything decent, the man who felt joy in throwing himself at the weak as well as deadly opponents, a man which hobby was being unfair and just plain nasty. But then there was the new Snape, the vulnerable man, the lonely man, the supposed soul mate. The Snape that tried so well to hide his vulnerability but failed, the man who attacked before being attacked, the man with an inner beauty so well hidden because of his fear and prejudice, the man who didn't dare to trust because he feared to be betrayed. The man who denied his own faith to protect his soul mate. No matter who Severus eventually turned out to be Harry didn't wish this on him. It was inhuman.

"Harry, step away from the bed while I give Severus the sedative!" Madame

Pomfrey nearly pushed him away from the bedside in her urge to get to Snape. There was a silent moan from the man while he tried to avoid the liquid being pored down his throat, but he surrendered soon enough.

"The sedative will kick in almost instantly, but it's not a strong one. I don't dare give you anything more powerful, but I bet you already knew that, right?" In one second a well-known frown appeared on Snape's face and there was a small curl on his upper lip.

"I also took the liberty to give you some more of the potion I gave you a little while ago. I don't need you passing out on me in the middle of this." She gestured to Harry and Ron to go to their places.

"And please remember- don't push under ANY circumstances- DON'T PUSH!" Her face looked grave as she cleaned her hands with a antibacterial fluid from one of her many bottles.

"Hermione, maybe you could hold his head for me?" she calmly asked as she dried her hands. By Hermione's reaction Harry bet there was nothing less in the whole wide world she wanted to do right now. It simply felt wrong, no matter how necessary it was, to hold down a man like this, to deny him the natural urge to try and fight off the pain scorching his body. And how this ordeal had to feel for the man who cherished his privacy of thoughts, mind and body more than anything.. Harry didn't even want to know.

*-*

Severus felt like some savage animal not to be trusted. He knew it was for his own and the baby's safety, but to be pushed down like this and to have his feet tied to the bedposts.. The seditive took some of the pain, but not remotely as much as he would have liked. He was so afraid he almost pissed his pants as he waited for Madame Pomfrey to start her work. He'd been through so much already he didn't know if he could stand any more. The last nine months and the last twenty four hours rushed through his mind as a pain beyond anything he'd ever imagined grabbed a hold of his whole being and sent him straight to hell. A single thought swirled trough his head: This was the night he would die..

*-*

A scream so terrifying Hermione let go of Snape's head flung through the room moments after the mediwitch started her procedure. All of Severus' body arched and cramped giving Ron and Harry a really hard time holding him down. His eyes wrenched up in horror and the veins on his throat bulged to a point Harry feared they would burst. If it hadn't been for the fact that the stone walls of the castle made most of the rooms practically soundproof the door would have been run down with curious people by now.

"It's gonna be okay, Professor, just hang in there!" Ron's voice was high-pitched and rather panicky, but he hid it well. Harry had to close his eyes. He didn't have the heart to see more of the suffering of this man. There had to be a better way than this, there had to be!

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRGHH!" A new scream sent knives of fear down Harry's spine.

Hermione whimpered and Harry opened his eyes to see her sobbing over Severus' head, which she was holding in a trembling grasp. Harry looked over to Ron. There was a determined young man sitting opposite him, clutching Severus' shoulder and arm, an expression of steel painted his eyes as he struggled to hold his Professor down. Over by Severus' belly Madame Pomfrey was working in silence. With red bloodstains on her hands, face and nightgown and the focussed look she looked scary enough to send any last year home screaming. Dear god, Snape had to be scared shitless!

The minutes seemed to pass away like hours. The screaming never ended. The man twitching between their arms seemed possessed by a force much stronger than him. By the look on his face there was no energy left in his body.

Still he screamed and screamed as Madame Pomfrey did her best to save the child within him. And the sedative seemed to have no effect what so ever.

But suddenly he calmed down. The screaming stopped and something new appeared in his worn eyes. Madame Pomfrey had just finished her work inside him and was now removing her hands from Severus' inside.

"She's the right way now," she said. Severus let out a slight growl and an expression of decision awoke in his eyes. Severus closed his eyes and Harry could feel all of the older mans body arch and wrench as he pushed with all his might.

"NO, Severus! No pushing!" Madame Pomfrey screamed in alarm. Severus' eyes lit with confusion and stubbornness.

"I have.. to push. I feel her. she is .. ready.. now. Can't hold.. her back.. anymore.."

"Listen, Severus- DON'T PUSH! Hermione, Harry come with me for a second."

She had them follow her to the corner of the room, while Ron tended the man in the bed.

"Why don't you let him push? He's almost worn out already, why wait until he has no strength left?" Harry was confused, and so was Hermione.

"Yes, Harry's right. The Professor's been through enough already. If he gets to push now when it feels natural for him he'll get it over with sooner."

" Now, listen you two," Madame Pomfrey whispered: "I'm afraid he may have damaged some of his muscles in the lower abdomen after that accident he had down in the dungeons last week. If he starts pushing he might very well rapture an artery and bleed to death in mere seconds." NO! Harry's mind screamed. It wasn't fair! Hadn't Severus been through enough? Could there really be more suffering ahead of him?

"How if you use an enlargement spell on his navel?" Hermione suggested: "That way you could pull out the baby and not hurt the Professor in the process." Pomfrey shook her head:

"Any spell provided to Severus will effect the baby as well. I can't take the risk."

"But what are we to do then?!? Watch him slowly bleed to death?!!" Harry whispered angrily. Madame Pomfrey gave him a calculating look and Harry just knew she was wondering how it was Severus had gotten pregnant in the first place, and with his child.

"I depend on Ron's help on that. Go back to Severus, Harry. He needs you more than anything right now!" She shoved him towards the bed and gestured

Ron to come to her. Harry sat down by the bed again and stroke a wet cloth over Severus' forehead.

"What were you.. whispering about.. " The voice sounded like the voice of an old dying man. "I.. sense..con.. conspira..cy." Blurred eyes tried to search Harry's features.

"We were just discussing your delivery," Harry answered and tried to sound optimistic. Severus didn't seem too impressed by his acting, though.

"I.. know there's ... something.. wrong.." he breathed and clenched a trembling hand to a fist as he did as he was told, ignored the urge to push: "I don't care.. about myself.. Save the.. baby!" A silent sigh made Harry's heart bleed.

"Don't say that! You'll get through this the both of you!" Madame Pomfrey had finished her peptalk with Ron and Hermione and approached the bed.

"Severus, now we'll finally get some things done here, I expect you can't wait?" The voice showed no traces of worry, but her eyes and features said it all. "As I've told you earlier I don't want you to do any pushing."

"And how am.. I.. to do this.. then? Are.. you gonna.. haul it..ou- ut?!" He still tended to his sarcasm, although he seemed to be scared out of his mind.

"You are gonna lie back and try to relax as best as you can, while Ron do the pushing for you." Ron waved his hand nervously as he'd just been called up to a podium. Severus blinked and swallowed heavily.

"Repeat.that.."

"As I said, Ron here is going to push for you, and you're gonna lie back and stay completely passive," Madame Pomfrey repeated impatiently.

"We both. know I'm.. unable to. relax at my.. current.. state.." Harry noticed the man's voice seemed to fall with every word he spoke. If Madame Pomfrey didn't hurry up soon there would be no trouble with having Snape relaxing. He would be dead! He sent the woman what he wanted to believe was an intimidating look, and she responded with a nod and told him where his place was during this, without words. Hermione lined up behind the mediwitch to be of any help if there was anything she needed, while Ron placed himself standing beside the bed, opposite Severus' stomach. He looked pale and Harry could see his hands trembling violently, no doubt he was dreading like a dog for the task ahead of him. He was to push Severus' stomach from under his ribcage, to force the baby out without having Severus using any of his lower abdomen muscles.

And as for Harry, he went over to the other side of the bed and sat down on his knees beside Severus' face. He placed the suffering man's hand in his and gently stroke his free hand over his cheek.

"Try to relax, this will be over in a few moments," he said reassuringly. But Severus shook his head, or more precisely tried to.

"No," he wisphered: "I.. too late." Harry fought to hold back his tears.

"Don't say that, Severus! You have a baby who's gonna need a lot of attention when he or she's born!" This was an attempt from Harry's side to light a spark of the old stubbornness Severus was so greatly known for. But the man in the bed didn't seem to react at all on the words spoken to him.

"Promise me.. promise… you'll take.. care of... our. child," he gasped with begging eyes clutching Harry's hands with his very last strength.

"I. I promise." Harry could no longer hold back the tears.

"OK, Severus- brace yourself! Ron, PUSH!" Severus Snape closed his eyes as quiet tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn't scream any more, he was barely reacting to the severe pain running through his body. This scared Harry far more than the screams the man had uttered earlier. Ron pushed every time Madame Pomfrey told him to and Hermione ran back and forth providing the mediwitch with various materials. She had decided the birthpassage still wasn't dilated enough to pass a baby. Therefore she needed to make a small cut on each side of the navel, with a knife resembling the scalpel muggle used for surgery. Severus was in so much pain already that he wouldn't feel a thing from the knife.

There was no time to loose, they worked as fast as possible, pushing the infant up the birthcanal. Harry took his eyes from Severus' face just in time to see a tiny head breach the surface of the man's belly. The sight amazed him. This was so unbelievable! He was witnessing a child being born! And not any child, his child! And Severus' child. The miracle of it all suddenly hit him smack in the face. If he and Severus had been lovers as they were supposed to be this would be the biggest present and act of self-sacrifice the man could give him! But this child was to be born into a world where it would be considered a freak, the last evil act of the lord Voldemort and it would grow up knowing Harry didn't want it. No. If there was any humanity left in him he would prevent that from happening. It was his child after all and it was innocent. A silent gasp from the man beside him made him focus his mind on him again. He felt the soft grasp around his hand ease and slip, he saw Severus have a last look at him with a small tender smile on his lips before he passed out.

A scream rattled through the room as newborn lungs drew their first shaking breaths. Hermione was handed the baby while Ron and Pomfrey continued the pushing work until the placenta was delivered to. Harry sensed none of this. He was trying to bring the man next to him back, but he just didn't wake up.

"Madame Pomfrey! Please! He's not waking up, he's not waking up!" The alarm in his voice made the mediwitch draw one sharp breath before she spat out new orders.

"Hermione, hand the baby over to Ron. Then go notify miss McGonagall and also fetch Hagrid! Ron, clean the baby and keep it dry and warm, Harry- do your best to wake him up, I have some sewing to tend to down here, he's loosing blood fast!"

Harry left his body. His soul floated up in the air and hovered over the unreal scene down beneath his feet. He saw the man, outstretched on a bed- with a bright red gap in his midsection, an odd and sharp contrast to the pale white face. He saw the young man kneeling beside him, howling for him to wake up, not to leave him like this. The sorrow in his face revealed more than the fear of loosing someone who was merely a teacher. Was it.. the fear of loosing a mate? And by Severus' stomach he saw Madame Pomfrey, working in frenzy, all covered in the red vital fluid that had once circulated in Severus' veins. Her face was carved in stone, her mouth just a small outline barely visible. And by Hermione's work desk Ron sat, in his hands he held a screaming baby girl, brought to this world in such a haste no one had taken the time to appreciate her arrival. Tiny, tiny fists, tiny, tiny nose and a tiny, tiny screaming mouth without teeth. Severus' baby-daughter, the one he went through this ordeal for, the sign of love, sacrifice and an undying will. And he had not even been granted the chance to see her, to smell her, hold her close. Harry fell down to the floor and back into his body again, woke up to the harsh smell of reality, the sound of his own screaming, panicked voice, the mumbling of the mediwitch working beside him and the screams from the little one in Ron's protecting arms.

McGonagal came running with her hair flying all over. In her haste she hadn't bothered to tie her hair up in the usual knot, she wore a nightgown very similar to the one Pomfrey wore.

"Oh my god!" She stopped dead in the middle of the room, her hand clutching at her chest.

"Minerva, check his pulse!" Madame Pomfrey yelled as she was working on some stitches to keep Severus from bleeding to death. She did what she was told, with trembling fingers. She gave Harry a frightened look, but he had eyes for no one but the man he tried to awake.

"I've got a pulse, but it's weak," she reported.

"Good! I want you to take care of the baby now, and also notify Albus. I don't think he wants to learn of this through the "Daily Prophet"! McGonagal nodded feverishly and seemed to save all the questions written in her face to a later occasion. Ron didn't seem too willing to let go of the baby though. He had more in mind the idea that the baby should stay here in the room with her fathers in case Severus woke up. Minerva wanted no such nonsense.

"A baby here, in all this noise? It would be scarred for life!" she snorted and brought the little one with her.

"Ron, I now need you to stand guard in front of the door. I bet Hermione and Minerva will cause enough racked to wake up the entire school."

Two minutes later Hagrid stormed through the door with a panting Hermione at his heal. He burst out in tears instantly and nearly fainted by the sight of all the blood. He seemed to have lost his ability to speak.

"Hagrid! HAGRID!" Finally Hagrid turned his gaze toward Madame Pomfrey: "I know it's not a pretty sight, but I need you to help me transport Severus to the medical wing!" Hagrid swalloved:

"But cahnt yeh do a floatin spell on him?" He dried his eyes with the back of his hand: "He looks so, so.. weak!"

"No, I'm not gonna use any floating spell on him, he isn't conscious!" she answered him calmly. "Don't worry you won't hurt him," she added.

Carefully, as if he were lifting the most fragile porcelain cup, he took Severus in his arms. His big beetle black eyes shone mournfully as he carried him out of the room, and Harry sat there left behind- not being missed as Madame Pomfrey and Hermione ran after the half giant. A dry rattle went through his chest and he touched the pillow where Severus' head had rested a few seconds ago. The nauseating smell of blood was the final straw that made him loose what little self-control he had left. He started shaking violently and loud sobs forced their way up his throat. All this blood! How could Severus survive if he had lost all this blood?

Ron came in and sat down beside him. He pulled him close and had him cry on his shoulder.

"It's all right, it's all right!" he messed and rocked him like a small child.

"No," Harry sobbed into his ear: "It's not all right! He may die, and it's all my fault!"

"That's not true and you know it, Harry. This is not your fault. It's not anybody's fault!" Ron said determined. Harry jerked away from the comforting embrace and faced him.

"He's been hiding it for nine months to protect ME, Ron! He even tried to go through the birth alone to protect ME! He was trying to protect an egoistic, spoiled brat who's been denying the love granted him for all the years of which he has known the man! I've only seen a dirty old bastard with no capacity of friendship and definitely not love, while I should be seeing a man willing to die for me and the baby he's brought to this world!" Ron pulled him back to his chest and ran his fingers softly through Harry's hair:

"That was all his decisions, not yours, Harry. Think about it, you were eleven! Snape did the only human thing when he deceived you into believing he hated you. If you had seen the true side of him you probably would have fallen in love, if what Hermione has been babbling about for the last few weeks is true. And do you really think that would have made things easier for you OR Severus? And do you really think he would have let people know straight away about his delicate condition if you had impregnated him under "happy" circumstances? It was a shame for him to be pregnant. He is a man for god's sake! I bet he would rather die than have to listen to Madame Pomfrey and McGonagal giving him advice on maternity clothes, or to have students giggling about him in the corridors. He's a man used to being in control all the time, and this was something he couldn't control to full length. He had no way to stop his body from growing and eventually showing, he had no way to stop or control the labor, and I bet that scared the living daylights out of him. " Harry felt a little comforted by his best friend's words and let himself get rocked carefully back and forth until he drifted away from the grusomeness and let his tired body rest.

Everybody gets a second in the sun
I have a feeling mine has just begun

Music non stop when I close my eyes
Clarity born from such a compromise

and you are almost like me

Fragment from "Music Non Stop" by Kent

The Curse, part 11

Ron helped Harry up the stairs and to the medical wing to see how Severus was doing. Harry seemed to be beyond tired, but he refused to let Ron bring him anywhere else. They met a grave-faced Hermione in the doorway and she hurried them inside and locked the door behind them with a locking spell. The whole school had already started swarming with rumours and they really didn't need the med.wing swamped with curious people right now. Madame Pomfrey was busy in the far corner of the smallest of the five rooms that belonged to the medical wing. She turned when she heard footsteps, it was beyond any doubt she'd been crying recently.

"Harry," she hurried towards the young man before he had a chance to get to the man lying on the single bed the room contained. "Come with me for a minute- don't worry, Ron and Hermione will take care of Severus in the mean while. There's nothing more I can do for him right now. Harry followed her hesitantly over to her office where he sat down. He knew it wasn't good news she was about to tell him, her face looked too torn, her eyes had big problems with meeting his gaze.

"How is he." his voice, barely audible, his eyes big and scared. Pomfrey sighed.

"He's lost a lot of blood, Harry. And due to all the hours of heavy labour… I just don't know… There's a limit to how much pain and exhaustion a body can endure, and Severus must have been riding on the very edge of that. If he crossed the line… I'm sorry Harry, all we can do now is but hope." Harry felt a weird fog cloud his head as he tried to understand the meaning of the mediwitch' words. Severus couldn't die after all this! He was over it now, he only had to recover wasn't he? Could pain leave such a scar a man could never fully heal, and die even? If he'd died when giving life that was one thing, but to die now, after the whole turmoil? Sure, it would have been just as terrible if he'd died in the middle of a scream or if he'd just faded hen, but to die when the worst was over with? That wasn't Severus Snape!

"I want to see him now." Harry rose from the chair on trembling legs. He remembered the smell of blood.

"Harry, I think you should get some rest…" Madame Pomfrey rushed over to steady the young man but he shook free from her helping hands.

"No, I have to do this. He needs me." Their gazes met and the mediwitch understood.

"Alright, dear. You can go see him now. But before you go.." Harry turned as he was about to turn the doorknob:

"Yes?"

"The father.. of the child.." There was an aura of uneasiness over her:

"Are you really the father? You're not covering the real identity of the father are you? Severus may be in real trouble if you're not honest, love."

A sad smile appeared on Harry's face, showing signs of growth and dawning realisation of his responsibilities.

"There was a time I wished I had nothing to do with both him and the baby, yes. But I am the father of the child. Any parental test would show you that. I'm Severus' soulmate." With these words he left the room heading for Severus' sickbed, leaving a puzzled but relived mediwitch standing like frozen by the new information granted her.

*-*

Minerva was really nervous. After calming the new-born baby-girl and making her sleep she had a new task on her agenda, informing the headmaster about what had happened. She knew Albus was a wizard who took great pride in knowing exactly what was going on at Hogwarts 24/7. How this particular little detail had escaped his all-seeing eye she had no idea of. Severus had been wobbling around pregnant in front of the very school for nine months and nobody had even suspected! Sure, but how could you suspect such a thing?! There hadn't been a reported male-pregnancy for over two hundred years and even back then it was very rare. Minerva knew of one curse and also some sort of potion that was able to get a man pregnant, but no living witch or wizard mastered neither of these that she knew of. And to believe that Severus Snape, of all people, would get himself pregnant! No, there wasn't a chance in hell neither of the teachers could have guessed, of that Minerva was certain. Severus was one of the top five in the world regarding potions, though, so if anyone should be able to regain the old fertiliser-potion it would be him. Would that mean he'd impregnated himself??

She inhaled shakily and contacted Albus the usual way, through the fireplace. Hopefully she would catch him still at his room before breakfast. And sure enough, as she popped her head through the fire she was greeted by a jolly welcome.

"Minerva! What a great surprise! What brings you to my fireplace this early in the morning?" He sat on his bed dressed in a purple robe.

"I have some news of great importance, Albus. I don't know how to tell you this.." Minerva shivered slightly as she imagined the reaction of the headmaster when she had told him the news.

"Come on, old gal, one word at a time- easy does it!" Dumbledore smiled. She sighed and opened her mouth.

"It's about Severus," she said and noticed a shift in the headmaster's face. Concern slipped inside his eyes, as he glanced at her.

"What is it Minerva, tell me please!" There were no trace left of the smiling old wizard.

"He's been hiding something, the past months, Albus." Dumbledore sighed:

"Yes I've sensed there was something he was hiding from me. There's been this aura surrounding him lately, and then there was the change of personality and the weight gain.. I've feared the pressure from his days as a death eater would finally catch up with him. He's so afraid to show his feelings and fears, Severus. The poor child, I should have been there for him! Oh, dear I thought that for once I should let him come to me, I was afraid it would only get worse if I pushed him. I shouldn't have left him in that condition! How is he?" Minerva understood Albus believed Severus had just had a nervous breakdown.

"Albus.. The secret Severus' been hiding from us the past months is a pregnancy." Albus looked like he was about to faint. He sat there, mouth wide open glaring at her as if she was a figment of his imagination.

"What?" he whispered.

"Severus has, very successful indeed, been hiding the very fact that he's been with child."

"Nooo," Albus gasped: "That can't be… Oh my, why didn't I see?" He stood up from the bed and marched over to the nightstand where he grabbed a small purse containing Floo-powder.

"Move, Minerva- I'm coming home!"

*-*

He was out of his mind in worry as he stepped out of the fireplace in Minerva's private quarters. Severus had to be only days from delivery now, maybe the birth had started even, and that was the reason the secret was finally reviled.

"Where is he, Minerva- take me to him immediately! He must be near death of worry for the coming birth!" He was still in his morning robe, in his haste he had only remembered his wand. He stopped for a second and noticed that the witch standing in front of him was crying.

"The birth has already taken place, Albus. Severus gave birth to a healthy baby-girl. She's sleeping in my bed right over there. But Severus.. he lost a lot of blood.. I don't know if he'll make it." No. This wasn't happening! Albus stood aghast for a second not able to move. He could too easily imagine the pain and suffering the poor wizard had been through. The mere fact he was called for after it all was over was a clear sign Severus had tried to hide his condition to the very end.

"Where is he?" the old man whispered as tears ran down his face. He looked over to Minerva's bed where a black-haired baby was sleeping peacefully. Severus' daughter. His old suspicion caught his mind. Was this the last evil act of Voldemort? Was the baby sleeping in Minerva's bed the heir of his old fiend?

"The father… " his voice sounded agent. "is it…"

"I left with the baby in such a haste I never asked who the father might be," Minerva answered as she brushed a skinny finger over the sleeping baby's cheek. Then dawning suspicion appeared on her face and she withdrew her finger as if she'd just been burned.

"You don't think Voldemort.."

"I don't know," Albus answered gravely: "But there's only one way to find out." He raised his wand and moved it in circles above the sleeping child. As he did this Albus muttered a spell that would reveal the second father. He dreaded what the result might be. But from the mint green mist that magically appeared over the baby's head it wasn't the cruel face of Voldemort that came through. It was a dearly beloved face, a face he in his wildest dreams wouldn't imagine would appear from such a spell. Harry Potter. The boy Severus resented and loathed, the boy he had treated unfairly for the last six years, apparently for his bad habit of breaking the rules. Behind him Minerva fainted with a soft thud and Dumbledore was tempted to do the same thing. How could this be?? Had someone slipped Severus a fertiliser-potion with some of Harry's hair in it? But surely no student on this school would have knowledge of such an agent spell?!

He awaked the fainted witch with a harsh whap from his wand just over her head and ordered her to continue her wake over the baby, while he himself headed for the hospital wing.

*-*

The entire school was storming with wild rumours concerning the Potions Master. People had seen Hermione Granger and Mrs McGonnagal storm through the halls, Hermione covered in blood and babbling hysterically about Severus Snape. Rumour had it he had taken ill, and there were many Gryffindors who could tell they had heard inhuman screaming from Hermione's Head-Girl- room. Some people had a horrible story about him being infested some gross alien-like creature that had erupted from his stomach and left the man in one hell of a bloody mess. There was one rumour Snape had been attacked by a deadly virus, absorbing his body from within, another rumour about him being slowly eaten by a mouse trapped inside his stomach. Yes, the rumours were many and wild, but the wildest and most unbelievable one of them all Draco Malfoy silently told his Slytherin mates.

"I heard Hermione tell Mrs McGonagal Snape's pregnant. He's near death after a birth." No one believed him of course and they all laughed at the silent young man who'd once been their leader. But then five Slytherins came scrambling into the great hall reporting they'd just seen McGonagal running down the halls with a baby in her arms. And a few minutes later two first years from Rawenclaw entered the hall, crying their eyes out. They had seen Hagrid, carrying a very bloodstained Snape, with Madame Pomfrey and Hermione Granger hot on his heals, equally blood stained. And from that moment it was settled. The Potions Master had, how odd it may sound, given birth, nearly dying in the process. Anything seemed possible in the wizarding community..

And of course the rumour spread beneath the boundaries of Hogwarts. It spread like wild fire through Hogsmeade and therefrom to Diagon Alley.. And from there it didn't take long before the word reached the word of a very nosy woman with great theft in smelling a good story with a dawning scandal rising behind it.

*-*

Albus had rushed back to Hogwarts the same morning the mystery baby drew its first screaming breaths. Harry had never seen him like this before. He was crying openly by Severus's sickbed, asking over and over again why Severus hadn't told him. He got no response, obviously. Harry who had refused to leave the room under any circumstances didn't quite know where to look. There was so much emotion circulating the room and it was such an intimate situation he witnessed that he almost regretted not having left the room. The old man trembled as he embraced Harry lightly.

"I understand you are the father of Severus' child?" Albus' eyes, cheeks and beard were wet with tears. He lay a hand on Harry's shoulder and Harry could have sworn he'd never felt anything heavier.

"That's right," he answered, shivering. Albus looked at him from over the top of his half-moon spectacles.

"I think you need to tell me how you managed to get your Potions Professor pregnant, Harry." There was no anger in the old man's eyes. Just sadness and curiosity.

"Voldemort.. cast a curse," Harry began, but stopped immediately when he saw the look on Dumbledore's face.

"What?!? Are you telling me that you and Severus.. that you're Soul Mates???!?" Harry wondered if Dumbledore had the ability to make his eyes pop out of his head, if so it was only a matter of seconds. The headmaster staggered around on the floor with a bewildered look on his face.

"Of course you are Soul Mates! How could I have not seen it! My dear, Severus never stops to amaze me!" He ran his fingers through his long white hair and for a moment he actually smiled.

"My dear Severus, finally you've met the one who's gonna make up for all your years of misery! And who would have thought it would be Harry Potter!

And you have known for all this time…" He turned around, towards the man in the bed again.

_"All the suffering and pain… It makes my heart bleed for you my child! You've suffered through so much more than anyone. I wish I had been there for you when you needed me. But it relives me to find that Harry here has supported you through this." Harry wanted to drop dead on the spot. Some help! He'd been in denial, he'd been accusing Severus for making his life hell and he'd even avoided him the last weeks. Some help indeed. He didn't even know if he wanted what Severus had offered him. But he said nothing. He looked at the grieving man leaning over the bed and knew it would only hurt him more if he told the truth. Harry hid his bleeding heart within.

*-*

But Albus was a wise old man. He gave the shivering young man a big hug and looked him straight in the eye as he said the following words:

" See with your soul, not with your eyes. Feel with your heart, not with your hands, Harry. You have a great future ahead of you if you only accept it, my child. Believe and you will see. Set your self free and you will feel!" It was probably one of the weirdest things Albus Dumbledore had said in his life, but probably also one of the wisest. In time Harry would understand, of that the headmaster was certain.

*-*

Big, dark blue eyes peeked up at him. They were so dark in colour they one day would change into dark brown. Black, stubborn hair curled its way up from her tiny head and a cute little nose, not at all crooked was perfectly placed in the centre of her face. A little mouth, constantly searching for anything to suck on, and an expert on making just the right sound to attract just the right attention. She was so incredibly small, so incredibly perfect! Harry could sit by her bed for hours, just staring at her as she was sleeping. Two days had passed since the fatal night in Hermione's room. Severus had still not woken up.

The whole castle, of course, was shaken by the news. There still was wild rumours running around about Severus and his peculiar condition, the baby and who the father might be. Many assumed it had to be Voldemort. But then they didn't know of the young man sitting by Severus' sickbed day and night, the same young man who'd lately been taking interest in the child no one claimed fathership to.

*-*

He had a living, breathing baby-girl to take care of. Harry handled her like a porcelain doll, so afraid his touch would hurt her in any way. He felt so helpless and scared for messing up and on top of that he had Severus to worry about. Four days had passed and he was still in a coma. Madame Pomfrey didn't know if he would wake up again at all. He'd lost an awfully lot of blood and due to the trauma he'd been through.. she just didn't know. Harry couldn't stop thinking about Severus and his selfless acts towards him. He'd asked for absolutely nothing from him, although he was destined to be his. He had offered to leave if it would please Harry, he'd even tried to hide his love to make it easier on him. Harry was nothing but a jerk who hadn't seen that before. His state of denial had forbidden him the beauty of the man he'd learned to fear and loathe. And now it might be too late to see if they really had a future together.

He cried by Severus' bed all night. He watched the baby with Ms McGonagal hanging over him pointing out what he did wrong. Thankfully Ron caught her during one of her "Babies must be treated this way and that way"-lessons and told her to give it a rest:

"Harry's doing just fine! I only hope I'll be such a good father one day!"

But Harry was slowly drowning in a sneaking depression. His spirit seemed lost, he found no joy in big dimples and happy gurgling. He only wished for the man who'd carried this child for nine months and given birth to her in the most painful way imaginable, to have a chance to see her. Hermione and Ron were the best support anyone could ask for, but they had no idea of how Harry was doing. He started to avoid holding the little one, fearing he might loose her too. He decided he shouldn't get too attached. He settled on a chair beside Severus' bed and refused to leave him.

*-*

Albus Dumbledore was concerned. Severus' life was currently hanging by a tread, and now his young soul mate seemed to have lost his will to live. He had a catatonic look on his face, which was very normal for a person loosing his soul mate. Just like swans soul mates are destined to be with only one partner their whole life through and none other. And Harry, eighteen years old, had only recently learned he had a soul mate. And although he had denied it, Albus guessed, Harry had now seen the truth. He loved Severus Snape just as strongly as Severus loved Harry Potter. And the thought of them never getting the chance to have the love they were meant for, the wondrous life together, and with a beautiful baby-girl even.. It just wasn't fair. He tried to reach out to the young man, but Harry was to devastated.

He stopped eating, he stopped talking, and he stopped feeding his baby-girl. He only breathed.

And as if that wasn't enough an old "friend" stood waiting for him outside his office one day after he'd checked up on Severus and his young mourning soul mate. The odd curls, the jewelled spectacles and the two inch long magenta coloured claws left little doubt. Rita Skeeter had smelled a good story.

"Rita, how nice! And I must say unexpected? I thought I had banned you from entering this school for the rest of your life?" He smiled and shook her hand like an old friend, but his eyes were beaming with warning. One step over the line and Rita would feel an anger far more intimidating than the old Voldemort could have achieved in his glory days.

"Oh, Albus! I knew you were only joking on that matter!" she said and flashed her big, yellow teeth at him: "And now I've heard there's a little scandal unwrapping here in good old Hogwarts. No one but the snake Severus Snape himself, I believe? Ah, it sounds like such an intriguing story, the man who was believed to be fighting on the side of good, was all the time planning his master's return. A man so plunged down in the dark arts he even volunteered to carry forth the child of his Master!" Her voice sounded like poison in old Albus' ears. He had never in his whole life wanted to do anything illegal, until now. He looked at the witch in bright pink robes and knew she was fully capable of destroying Severus' life in the case that he'd ever wake up.

"Get out of my sight, woman! Go, now- before I do something we both will regret!" The anger burning in his eyes made the witch loose her crocodile-skin purse.

"But Albus, what's this? I only wanted to talk!" she stuttered and took one step back.

"Listen. If you write anything about what you just said, if you as much as incline Severus Snape is a dark Wizard I will personally hunt you down!" Albus hissed: "He has done nothing wrong, if you want to write a story on him, why don't you tell people about how he DID fight on the side of good, at great personal risk. How he saved many lives and never asked for anything in return." Rita Skeeter gave him a last scared look and ran away, her beloved handbag left behind.

*-*

Hermione was out of her mind in worry of course. She could not sit still for one minute, instead she paced the floors, up and down, up and down trying to figure out what to do. Poor Harry was sitting by Severus' bed, denying to move. She didn't like the catatonic look on him at all and she and Ron had tried to reach through to him so many times she'd stopped counting. Harry wasn't just worried for a teacher anymore, there was something more now. She saw it in his eyes, how his hand held the Potions Master's hand, the way he traced his every features for a sign of life. It was a heartbreaking sight, and Hermione cried her self to sleep in Ron's arms every night. She'd always been a softie, but this was just too much. Even Ron had to admit Harry seemed to have deeper feelings for the Professor than he'd claimed earlier.

A week had passed. Hermione was on her way to the infirmary, in her arms a precious week old baby. She was sure this would be a wakeup call for Harry. She and Ron had tried everything and this was the last thing she could think of right now that could be able to snap Harry out of it. Ms. McGonagall was only too glad to let Hermione handle the baby for a little while, she looked like she hadn't slept in ages. Harry hadn't seen his daughter at all the last four days, but now Hermione had arranged a happy little family reunion.

He sat back facing her when she entered the room, as always. He didn't react on the footsteps behind him either.

"Hi, Harry! Look who I brought to see you!" Hermione put on what she hoped was a cheery face and walked up to the bed. Harry slowly looked up, and then looked at the little one Hermione was carrying in her arms.

"She missed you, you know!" she said and smiled as she more or less shoved the baby into his arms before he would turn all catatonic on her again.

"H. He.. Her.. Hermione, I… why don't you take her." Harry held the baby away from him, not even looking at her.

"Harry! It's your daughter!" Hermione exclaimed, aghast. She couldn't believe her own eyes: "She needs you, Harry- you're her father!" Oh boy, now she was getting really emotional. Harry turned his head away, but still held the baby away from himself, initiating for Hermione to take her. Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes as she took the little one who now started screaming her lungs out.

"Please.. Hermione… I can't look at her right now… she's to.. there's so much of him in her.." Hermione left him as tears ran down her cheeks, hope abandoned as she heard Harry starting to sob behind her. She had no idea how she could mend a broken heart…

*-*

Nine days had passed. Madame Pomfrey was seriously considering force- feeding Harry. He had no contact with the outer world any more, he just sat beside Severus with a begging look on his face. Sometimes he wept silently, holding the older man's hand begging for his forgiveness. The invisible bond between the two seemed to drive Harry to insanity.

*-*

The sunlight was peeking through a window in the medical wing, enlightening two silent figures. They both looked asleep. In the bed laid a man, pale as a corpse with black hair shining from the sunbeams playing with it. He was a handsome sight, looking peaceful and content. By his side, sitting on a chair and leaning against the bed, a young man with old features sat. He was sleeping, but his dreams were not filled with happy memories. He looked worn and restless, no peace in his face. Outside happy birds were chirping, welcoming the new morning, but none of the two men seemed to care. For them it was just another day away from each other.

Harry woke up around seven. He had a look at Severus half hoping what he had hoped for every morning but was just as disappointed as he always had been. This morning was different from all the other mornings though. This morning Harry lost his hope. The only thing holding him up the past few days vanished before his eyes. He stroke Severus' hand with a trembling finger and rose awkwardly from his chair.

"I guess it's time to say goodbye, then," he whispered and did the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, he let go. He turned his back to the sleeping figure and was going to open the door when the sound of a breath, a single inhale of air made him spin around.

"Leaving so soon?" A rusty voice, but with a well known tone of sarcasm over it. The kind of sarcasm there was only one man in the entire world capable of.

"Severus!" Harry ran toward the bed not believing his own eyes. From the bed two dark eyes gleamed back on him. Harry was pretty sure he was grinning like a complete idiot. The happiness welling up inside him was so huge he felt the urge to scream out loud to get it all out.

"The baby!" Severus suddenly looked alarmed. His hands searched what had once been a big and bloated belly. Fear and desperation entered his face:

"The baby! Where is it!"

"The baby is just fine! It's a girl, and she has your eyes!" Harry sat down on the chair and smiled. He felt so happy he could burst. But Severus on the other hand didn't seem to repay that happiness. He looked relieved by the news of his daughter being all right, but there was something else..

"What's wrong?" A curtain covered Harry's joy.

"Don't worry Potter, I'm not gonna claim anything from you. As soon as I'm fit to go I'll leave, with your permission of course." He looked dead calm.

*-*

It was such a weird sensation, waking up. He heard the sound of leaving footsteps and drew a deeper breath, it was that simple. For days he'd been swimming around in nothingness trying to find the right door to escape the emptiness. And now he'd finally found it. He opened his eyes and saw Harry leaving. Of course he spat out some stupid remark, figuring he should show Harry he didn't need him. He wanted to show him how little his leaving meant to him, and to hide his heart already thumping painfully in his chest.

And then he remembered. The nine months, the day and night of hellish pain, the unborn he never had a chance to greet. His stomach was flat again, so the baby had to be born. But where was it? Panic struck him as he tried to sit up but couldn't, too weakened by the long days in bed. Harry told him the baby, a girl was just fine. Severus drew a deep breath of air as relief brushed through him. But as he looked at Harry he saw relief in his eyes too. Was it his relief for having the baby out of his life, now that Severus had woken up? Severus knew he should have expected this. That the stupid hope of Harry suddenly realising he had some feelings what so ever for him was childlike and probably hopeless. Harry was a grown man and his resentment towards him was probably too deeply rooted for them ever having a fair chance. So he tried his best to hide his bleeding heart as always, telling Harry he would leave as soon as he could, that he expected nothing from him.

There was a change in Harry's eyes. The sparkly green in his eyes faded, he actually looked sad.

"Do you really think I want you to leave?" he whispered hoarsely. Something new appeared in his features.

"After all this, after all I've learned about you... about us. Do you really think that I would.." A single tear ran slowly down Harry's left cheek. All his youth and beauty shimmered through his sadness making him look even more beautiful to Severus' eyes. His love, his soul mate. What was this? What was happening? Severus was a man who'd lived to see many things, both things of beauty and ugliness. To see his soul mate looking like this made him wish he could take him in his arms, hold him tight and rock him gently until his smile reappeared on his face. But he knew his embrace probably was the last Harry needed right now.

*-*

Harry had expected no less from Severus. He wanted to lay no burden on Harry what so ever and therefore volunteered to leave if that made things easier for him. But Harry didn't want Severus to leave, ever! If he had learned anything the last few days by this bed, it was that. He wanted Severus to stay, with him. He wanted to be a part of their daughter's life, with him. He wanted to feel what love truly felt like, with him. And all this he wanted to tell the confused man eyeing him from the bed, but he didn't know how. So he did the one thing that felt right- he leaned down and kissed the man he loved.

There was a gasp from the unexpecting man, but then he caved in, his mouth accepted Harry's confession of love with great hunger, but with the sweetest tenderness. A world was reborn and Harry's life felt like it had just begun as his tongue embraced the tongue of his soul mate. In his whole life he had never felt so happy. When he finally drew back he noticed that Severus was both crying and smiling. The combination made Harry's head spin, the inner beauty of Severus shone through, leaving no trace of doubt in Harry's mind the two of them were indeed destined to be together.

"I know someone who can't wait to see you!" Harry whispered and rised from the chair: "Give me a minute, I'll be right back!" He kissed Severus cheek.

He had so much he needed to tell Severus, but still it felt like he had all the time in the world. Right now there was one thing on Harry's mind and that was to introduce the two greatest things that had happened to him in his life to each other. He rushed to Miss McGonagall's office where he found the professor sweating over a howling cradle.

"Mr. Potter!" she gasped while she tried to tidy her hair. The tight knot on the back of her head was dissolving as she spoke.

"I.. I. Your daughter sure is a handful!" She dumped down on a chair with a sigh: "I don't know how to calm her down."

"I know how!" Harry smiled: "I'm taking her to meet her daddy!"

"He's awake???!?" Her face lit up with a big and bright smile making her look twenty years younger: "Oh Harry that is wonderful news!" She jumped across the floor and gave him a hug surprisingly strong for such a skinny woman. Harry laughed as she hauled him around in the room, jumping like a teenage girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Go to him, show him the wondrous little treasure he's kept hidden from us for so long!" She shoved him towards the cradle. Harry hesitated for a moment. He hadn't exactly been an example of a good dad the last few days. He'd been too preoccupied to even grant his baby-girl a thought. But as he looked down on the little howling thing reaching up for him with her tiny arms, it all dawned on him. He took her up in his arms, pride shining as he finally accepted the miracle he had been granted. She stopped her crying and looked at him with her big, dark eyes, eyeing him out. It was almost as she was saying : "Where have you been the last days?" This precious girl was the final bond that would twine him and Severus for the rest of their life. She was the proof for the outside world that Harry Potter and Severus Snape had something so special even a curse of Voldemort couldn't destroy it. Harry had a smile on his face all the way back to the medical wing and he told everyone he met on his way that this was his baby-daughter and that she was going to meet her father Severus Snape. Now the secret was out there and Harry didn't care any more, he did not feel shame any more, just pride and love.

Madame Pomfrey was hovering over Severus when Harry returned. She was fussing, crying, cheering and smiling all at once.

"Please, Poppy- I'm just fine!" Severus sounded grumpy. Harry guessed the mediwitch had tried to check up on him.

"I have someone here who wants to meet you," Harry said and stepped forward. Madame Pomfrey walked away from the bed smiling so broadly her gums were showing:

"I'll leave you three alone for a minute," she said and walked out of the room. Harry sat down on the side of the bed and carefully laid the baby on top of Severus' heaving chest.

"Oh, god! She's so tiny!" Severus had a stunned look of amazement on his face: "I can't believe it, I can't believe something that beautiful can have grown inside ME for nine months!" Tears welled up in his eyes again as a tiny hand grabbed a hold of his finger.

"See, she's missed you!" Harry smiled as he watched them both. There was a glow about Severus as he watched what his body had created and carried to term. It was so weird, still it felt so natural. He bent down and kissed Severus' cheek:

"She is just as gorgeous as you are, you just haven't realised it yet,"

Harry said honestly.

"Hey! Don't offend the little one!" Severus answered, lip curling and a small, amused frown on his face. The old defence mechanism still had its grasp upon him. Harry wondered if his soul mate would ever see the inner and outer beauty he possessed. He picked up the baby and placed her in Severus' arms.

"Look at her, Severus. Do you see anything disgusting or foul with her?"

"No of course not!"

"How about her eyes, are they ugly? Or her mouth? Her cheeks, her hands or maybe her feet?" Harry continued.

"No of course not! She's perfect! Why are you saying this!?" Severus said harshly, he cradled the baby protectively against his body.

"Half of this miracle, this wonderful and beautiful baby-girl is you Severus! Look at her eyes, it's you! She has the same gorgeous, dark, mysterious eyes as you have. Eyes you can stare into for hours without getting tired of them. Making you ache and smile, and cry even if they want you to. And have a look at how she curls her upper lip if she's satisfied and content! That's you all over again. Her hair, it's you- I have no curls. Her chin, that's you. How can you have such a low self esteem when you see all the beauty you have passed on to her? If you're mocking your own looks you're also mocking hers." Severus had a peculiar expression on his face. He looked both puzzled and bedazzled.

*-*

He'd never considered himself anything but foul and ugly- looking. With his crooked nose, greasy hair and pale skin there was no chance for him ever being considered even remotely nice looking. His thin lips and constant frown would be enough to scare any person off. It was so confusing to see so much of himself in this tiny face, to see so many similarities and not feel disgusted by it, as he would have if he'd seen his own reflection in a mirror. His baby-daughter was so beautiful his heart ached, there was no way he would ever think she was ugly.

Harry's little speech threw him off tracks completely. His words sounded true, but still he couldn't let go of his old image of himself. He still felt like the bat-like creature the students made fun of, he still felt like the nasty man who looked as if he had been eating a hundred lemons. And then he looked back at the tiny face that was eyeing him curiously and saw the beauty. For the first time in his life Severus saw beneath his old miserable self, and saw some of the beauty hidden behind. The old shell was starting to come off, the new Severus Snape, the true Severus Snape was waiting to be let out.

He gave Harry a weird look and wondered if the young man had realised how wise he was despite his young age.

"You never stop to amaze me do you, Potter! Now you've even half convinced me I should consider my self quite the handsome old bat who drinks goat blood as tea!" He smiled as he said it. It was a true smile, once a rarity, but not any more. From now on Severus would do a whole lot of smiling. The world could crumble into dust for all he cared as long as he had his family beside him.

"You should do that more often!" Harry said and kissed him gently.

"I intend to!" Severus whispered back as his heart blossomed and grew to something bigger, something new.

"I love you Harry Potter!" He looked his soul mate straight in the eye as the final straw of fear left his heart and he dared trust the world again.

"And I love you, Severus Snape!" Harry whispered back and kissed his lover once more.

*-*

Harry had just finished his tender kiss when the door flew open and a witch he remembered only too well glided into the room.

"Ah, finally I found you, Severus-dear!" she exclaimed loudly with a false expression of joy on her face. Harry stood up from the bed, trying to block the woman's view to the bed.

"Rita Skeeter!" he growled through gritted teeth: "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"What am I doing here?? I'm to take a picture of the baby for the Daily Prophet of course!" she whined and waved with a little magic pocket-camera.

"Get out of here," Severus whispered. He tucked the little one closer to his chest.

"You heard him!" Harry said: "GET OUT!" The witch seemed to think of her options for a moment and then her face broke into an evil smile.

"I don't think so," she said: "The public has the right to know that Severus Snape is harvesting his old Master's evil offspring! It is my duty to warn innocent people of the evilness and danger that child contains!" Harry wanted to jump forward and strangle this horrible woman threatening his family. But he knew that would only make things far worse. With all of his effort he tried to calm down.

"You will write nothing of that," he said and smiled as calmly as he managed: "because none of that is true." Skeeter started to laugh. Her high-pitched squeals made her sound like a pig.

"You amuse me, Potter- you really do!" she snorted and took one step forward: "But I need to ask you to step aside now, I have a picture to take!" Severus shifted nervously in the bed as he tried to cover the little one as best he could.

"You'll have your picture," Harry said calmly. Severus gasped.

"Harry, what are you doing?" he whispered desperately.

"Shush, love! Rita Skeeter will have her picture, and she will also have the true story with it. You see, Rita, this baby is not the heir of Voldemort, nor is he related to that monster in any way. This sweet baby-girl is Severus' gift to me, his soul mate. I'm her father, not Voldemort. He had nothing to say in the matter." Rita Skeeter's big jaw dropped and she halted for a moment.

"Rita Skiteeh, what are yeh doin here?!" Hagrid was crouching in the doorway with murder in his eyes. "I thaught I smelled a rat!" He ducked into the room and behind him Madame Pomfrey, Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall appeared, equally angry. Harry actually felt sorry for the witch for a moment.

"I just heard the good news!" The voice of Ron came from the doorway and was soon followed by its owner and Hermione.

"You!" He spat as he joined the line amongst the others. Hermione looked at the woman with utter disgust, but remained silent for a change. She took Ron's hand. Harry started to laugh. He saw the witch shrink as the others closed in on her like a long hunted prey and he thoroughly enjoyed himself. He had a look at Severus and saw a small smile play with his mouth also.

"I don't believe you, it's a conspiracy, a cover up!" she panted as she span around to see if she wasn't attacked somewhere she wasn't watching.

"There's no way the two of you could be soul mates!"

"No?" Harry smiled: "Then I wouldn't be doing this?" He bent down and kissed Severus sweet lips. And Severus answered him with great longing and even put his hand around Harry's neck and pulled him closer.

"Aaaaw, you're so sweet together!" Hermione sounded like she'd just seen some adorable bunnies with tiny pink ties on them. And Rita Skeeter certainly took the opportunity to take advantage of the situation no matter how cornered she was. The flash from the magic pocket-camera struck like lightning several times. She obviously could see a new story taking form. Hagrid lifted her easily up from the ground and threw her out:

"And stey outh!" he said and closed the door behind him.

"Thanks Hagrid!" Harry said and gave the big man a hug. It felt nice to be almost squashed in the embrace of the half giant again no matter how grown up Harry considered himself.

"I'm so happy for the two of yeh!" he gruffed and patted Harry heavily on the head: "And I'm so glad to see yeh awake, Sevrus!" he said and dried a big tear from the corner of his eye. He looked down on the little bundle in the corner of Severus' arm and a big smile lit his face. "She's a beauty, ain't she! She has yer eyes, Sevrus." Severus blinked and looked like he was about to cry himself.

"Do you want to hold her, Hagrid?" Harry asked. Hagrid looked at the little one with longing eyes:

"Oh no, I'd probably squish her or sometin."

"Nonsense," Severus barked and gestured for Harry to take the baby. Harry did as he was told and carefully placed the tiny girl into the massive hands of the weeping half giant. He looked at her as if it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and cried some more. The others closed in around him and also had a look at the baby. Although they had already seen the baby, they acted as if it was the first time what so ever.

Harry sat down beside his bonded and smiled as they watched their closest stand around Hagrid, ooohing and aaaawing at the baby's every sound and move.

"I don't think we will have any problems with baby-sitters," he said as he took Severus' slender hand in his. Severus' face dissolved in a pure smile, a smile that involved all his heart and soul, and in that precise moment Harry knew he wasn't cursed. He was truly blessed! No matter what the future would bring, as long as he could spend it with this man there would never be any doubt in his heart again.

*-*

Harry had exactly ten seconds worth of solitude. As he thought there could be no more trouble ahead mother fortune ambushed him once again.. Behind them there was a crash, and in the door none other than Sirius Black scrambled in looking very tired, complete with suntan.

"I jumped on the nearest broom as soon as I heard!" he panted and crossed the floor in two gigantic leaps, ignoring completely the little crowd standing around Hagrid: "You have no idea how hard it is to find a decent fireplace on Hawaii! And that owl you sent me, Minerva, was the laziest feather-ball I've ever seen!" He stopped dead, right in front of Harry and got a bewildered look on his face as he seemed to remember his old fights with Snape. They had fought at the same side during the war, but neither Sirius nor Severus were, to say the least, on speaking turns. And now Sirius looked like he was about to blow a fuse as he turned his fiery gaze towards the man in the bed.

"Now, how is it exactly you got impregnated by my godson, if I may ask??" Severus literary shrunk there he lay in his bed.

"I'm sorry, Sirius I didn't mean it to happen!" he more or less squeaked as he looked like he was trying to evaporate in front of his very eyes.

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed and tugged his sleeve: "How nice to see you! I was meaning to write and tell you about all this, but I sort of forgot.. I've had a lot on my mind lately." Albus stepped forward and patted Sirius on the back:

"But now you're here, thanks to Minerva, so how about you come greet the daughter of your godson?" Sirius looked from one to the other like they both were talking some weird foreign language from Southern Arabia or something like that. Then he sighed and rubbed his neck with a big palm.

"OK, is it just me or have I stepped into the twilight-zone here?? The last time I was here, some five months ago, everything was just fine. Harry was a completely normal eighteen years old boy. Snape was his usual old nasty MALE self, besides what I at the time believed was a nasty case of the flu. And there were no signs what so ever I would return four months later to find my godson the father of the child of the very Potions Master he's loathed and hated for years! Can someone PLEASE explain to me what the hell has happened since I left??!" He bumped heavily down on a chair nearby Severus' bed.

"That's a long story.." Harry said fidgeting nervously. He had never thought of the old rivalry between the two men. And by the looks of Sirius he hadn't forgotten his old grudge about Severus. Severus by the way was remarkably quiet. He would usually jump at any chance to spit some snide remark in Sirius' way. But then there wasn't much left of the old Snape in him any more. Harry had to make his godfather see that somehow, but he was stamped for ideas. Right now he could only watch them and hope Sirius didn't throw himself at Severus' throat.

"You have every right to be angry at me, Sirius." The voice came from the bed, calm, rusty and a tad nervous: "I've tried for so long to keep Harry's destiny a secret, but on the battlefield of the final day destiny caught up with me. Here I had been trying to hide my dirty secret for six years so that Harry would grow up to have a choice, but one single curse from Voldemort made my efforts scarcely wasted." Sirius looked at him with a blank face and everybody in the room held their breaths as Severus continued.

"He cast the Legravata Simouron-curse on me, in one last desperate attempt to continue his legacy, his bloodline. He realised just seconds before he died that he had failed, that my heart and soul was bonded, that I could carry but one's child… Harry's."

"Wait a minute!" Sirius gasped: "Are you saying that you and Harry are…"

"Soulmates, yes." Severus answered calmly: "I knew it the very first night I lay eyes on him. And I knew the very same instant that I had to fight against it. There was no way I could justify to engage in a relationship with a twelve-year-old boy. What ever you believe I am, Sirius I would never forgive my self if I did that." Hermione started sobbing in the background and Hagrid soon joined in with an enormous blow in his hankie. Sirius still looked at Severus, not revealing his feelings.

"But faith took a nasty turn on me when I was hit with this irreversible curse. I tried to hide it, as long as I possibly could, but Harry- of course- found out when I was about five months pregnant. He didn't find out that he was the father right away, but it didn't take him to long. He was distraught by the news. He'd always seen me as a filthy and nasty human being that always came down on him like a fire-breathing dragon. And now he had to cope with the idea of being the father of this very man's child and even the fact that this miserable git was his soulmate."

"Please don't refer to yourself in that way!" Harry said and sat down by the bed: "I don't see you like that anymore." Severus smiled against his young soulmate as a single tear found it's way out the corner of his eye.

"Harry and I have travelled a long journey this past few months and I've been granted more than I've ever dared to dream about. But I do understand that this is hard for you to believe Sirius. If I were you I wouldn't either. We never took the chance to get to know each other when we were young, something I regret deeply. I beg your forgiveness for what I may have done in the past and only hope you will accept it, from the bottom of my heart." Severus' voice trailed off at the end, he was obviously tired after the speech. Now Albus joined the sobbing-choir and even Minerva seemed to have trouble hiding her emotions. Sirius gave his old fiend one long, searching stare. Then he turned his gaze towards Harry and continued his stare.

"Are you happy, Harry?" he asked. No fury, no smile, just searching. Harry took a deep breath before a big smile erupted on his face, making his green eyes sparkle.

"Yes I am!" he answered curtly as he grabbed Severus' hand to confirm it. Sirius looked at him in silence some more, then at Severus and then sighed.

"Maybe your heart isn't as dark as I want it to be, Severus," he said slowly, with pain on his face: "Maybe I've been too fond of disliking you to bother looking beneath to see what truly hides inside you. If that is so I am the one who should apologise.. There is something new about you which I've never seen before, I can see it now, plain as the day and I wonder if it's been there all the time and that I would have noticed if I looked close enough. I need time to adjust my self to this, I have to admit- but I also see the happiness you bring to my godson's face." He patted Harry's back and a small smile appeared on his face as dark eyes started to shine.

"And I'm very proud of you, Harry. You've done exactly as I would expect from you in this matter!" Harry just smiled back- to aghast to find words to say. His heart was bulging with pride, love and fondness for this man who broke out from prison two years ago to protect his godson.

"I think it's time you meet your new goddaughter!" he said and went over to Hagrid to get the tiny girl that was playing happily with the half giant's beard. There was a change in the whole presence of Sirius Black when the baby was placed in his arms. The magic of a tiny new life seemed to shake him head over heals.

"She's adorable!" he whispered as a tiny hand locked around his pinkie: "I can see so much of both of you in her! What's her name?"

"We haven't thought of one yet," Harry confessed as he sat down on the bed again besides Severus.

"Well, actually…" Severus started innocently: "I have had one name in my mind the last couple of months.."

"Oh? Tell us then!" Harry said with what seemed to be a chronic smile.

" Sirina, it means "Light of Destiny"" " he said as a slight blush entered his face: "I guess it sounds a bit odd.."

"No, I like it!" Harry kissed his hand: "She looks like a Sirina, doesn't she, Sirius?"

"Yes," the man goggling and making weird faces to the baby-girl agreed: "She definitely looks like a Sirina!"

*-*

So it was settled then. From that moment the baby's name was Sirina. She was a girl destined for doing great things in her life, as her fathers. And although she had some hard years ahead of her filled with prejudices and dislike from the ones who didn't know her- she always had her loving fathers to back her up and to give her all the love and comfort her heart could desire. And Harry and Severus? They both found the love they were destined, and spite the harshness they met in the wizarding-society they lived a happy life. They grew stronger together, nothing could separate their hearts. And if the world sometimes seemed evil and unfair they always had the friendship and trust from their closest friends from Hogwarts and Harry's and Sirina's godfather. Sometimes love finds a way, even when all hope is abandoned…

^End^

So.. was there really anyone out there actually believing I would KILL Severus?!? Well I hope you liked the ending of my little "saga". I couldn't bare to kill off poor Sev. after all he'd been through.He deserves all the happiness he can get! :)

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