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Title: The Waiting Room
Author: kill gore trout fish
Email: killgoretroutfish@yahoo.com.au
Homepage: http://au.geocities.com/killgoretroutfish/kindex.htm
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: R
Status: WIP
Part: 4 / ?
Length: 31,030 words and counting
Categories: Alternate Universe, Drama, Mpreg, Post-War
Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Ronald Weasley
Warnings: Het, Mpreg
Spoilers: HBPSummary:
It seems as though the moment one Dark Lord falls, something else comes up to
fill his shoes. Severus Snape has been 'drafted' - on Ministry orders - to do
his part to rebuild the British wizarding world after the war. In a waiting room
at St. Mungo's, he overhears an increasingly intimate conversation between two
fellow 'draftees' - Harry and Ron. AU, obviously.

Author's Notes:
This was written for the September 2005 stork-smut challenge on the hp_squick
livejournal community. I got most of the pregnancy TMI info from various medical
books, eavesdropping on tales from those who had Done It, and (like Umbridge in
the story) using my own "twisted little imagination". Apologies also for the
smutty bits being few and far between – but they are mentioned. "Sheet-puppets"
(or 'sheet-monsters') refers to a name used for a children's game played by
moving hands under a tablecloth or sheet to make 'ghosts' or 'monsters'. I've
also taken a few liberties as to how far legilimency can be applied (i.e
paintings doing it), so any inaccuracies re' that are my own. As well as any
plotholes. This was intended to be something much shorter, but the plot-bunny
took over, and it kind of grew.

Beta:
Morgan_LeFaye58 (from Chapter 2 onwards)

Disclaimer:
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK
Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books,
Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being
made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

All characters depicted herein in adult situations may safely be assumed to be
over 18.

* * * * *

Chapter 4: The Healer

Harry stood on the dais, before the stone archway. He remembered that room in
the Department of Mysteries, but he didn't know how, or why, he got there. He
could have apparated ... just that he didn't remember making himself do that.
Nor did he recall having the crushing sensation normal for that form of travel.
What Harry did remember, though, was that a few minutes ago, he had been lying
on professor Snape's couch, in extreme pain, wondering when he was going to die.
He remembered that Snape had begun to put his mouth over his at the time that he
went, in an attempt to ingest his soul before it departed.

[i]He has obviously failed[/i], thought Harry, as he studied one of his hands,
now translucent and ethereal. Looking down, he was a little surprised to find
his ghostly abdomen had become as flat and firm as before, with no detectable
mark of what his body had just endured. [i]That must mean that Remus and Oliver
were delivered safely[/i], he thought with relief, [i]thank you, Hermione, we
owe you one[/i]. Still, the lack of a mark on his body puzzled him. Weren't most
ghosts supposed to retain a reminder of their cause of death? Why wasn't his
body slack or scarred in the obvious place?

A breeze from some unknown source moved the grey, tattered curtains, and Harry
stepped tentatively onto the dais. "Sirius?" he whispered, "Father ... Mother
... Professor Lupin?" Nothing. He had often wondered, since Sirius's death,
whether he would be able to see what was on the other side of the archway when
his own time came. [i]Maybe[/i], he thought, [i]that was not how it worked[/i]
... maybe he had to step [i]through[/i] it, if he wanted to be reunited with
those whom he had lost ...

"Stop!" The voice was familiar, Harry had heard it before ... "STOP!! Harry
Potter, I command you not to take another step!" He turned his head, and saw
Nearly Headless Nick, his House ghost, flying down towards him from the
Ministry's ceiling, the Bloody Baron at his side. "Oh, thank goodness, Harry,
I'm just in time!" Said Nick, as he alighted to stand in front of him, "I
thought for one horrible moment that you were going to walk right through that
thing!" Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw the Baron step swiftly in front
of the archway, blocking his way.

"Why, what's wrong with me going through that arch?" Harry said, more than a
little confused now, "I'm a ghost now, aren't I? Now that I'm dead, it shouldn't
harm me to go through it and see my ..." "You are not a ghost" said a hoarse,
whispering voice. It was the Bloody Baron, and Harry spun around in surprise,
realising that it was the first time he had heard that ghost speak so clearly.
" Harry ..." he turned back, to face Nearly Headless Nick.

"Please listen to me very carefully", Nick said, "The Bloody Baron is right. You
are not a ghost, you are not dead, it is not safe for you to go wandering about
like this, and you need to go back as soon as possible". "Back ... to where?"
Harry asked. Nick coughed slightly, and he thought he saw the ghost's face blush
silver. "Back to Professor Snape's ... er, body, of course". Nick said,
awkwardly. "What?!" Harry exclaimed, "I thought he had failed!" "He did not",
the Bloody Baron said, simply.

"I will explain", Nearly Headless Nick said, "Professor Snape has succeeded in
doing what he had set out to do. He was able to ingest your soul, and moments
before you would have died for good, I might add ..." Nick explained, "though,
because of his condition, he had to make some extra ... erm, adjustments to his
body before he performed the spell ...", "He did [i]what?![/i]" Harry cut in, a
realisation was beginning to take shape in his mind ... "It was a spell, I'm not
sure what – the Bloody Baron didn't elaborate when he came to get me", Nick
said, "He just said that straight after he body-bound his own child, he then
charmed a small patch of his flesh to hold you, to act as a kind of anchor for
you until the ... umm ... other part of him is free for you to, er ... go into".

"You are a disembodied soul, Harry Potter", added the Bloody Baron, "And for
proof of this, look behind you. You will see your Astral Cord". Harry looked
where the Baron told him to, and saw that there was a thin, silvery trail
extending behind him – like a line of curling smoke. To where it led, he did not
know. The cord seemed to disappear into a far wall of the room. Following it to
his own body, he saw that the other end of it was attached to his own navel.
[i]Why didn't I notice this before?[/i] He thought.

"So", he said, "Now I'm a bit like what Voldemort was, after he tried to kill me
the first time..." (Nearly Headless Nick pursed his lips at Harry's casual
reference to the dead dark wizard; the Bloody Baron put his hands upon his hips)
" ... A soul without a body", he continued, musing out loud, "possessing things
to keep going ..." "You are unable to possess". The Baron said. Nick explained;
" You see, you are already anchored to a piece of something living, Professor
Snape made very sure of that before he took you", he went on; "he had recently
gained a small amount of extra body fat, I believe, due to the deplorable
condition that the Ministry had imposed upon him", Nick said, "so he charmed
that". "The cord that you see leads to there", The Baron said.

"How am I going to be reborn then, from ... that?!" Harry asked, not savouring
the thought of being physically anchored to a lump of fat for his survival.
" When his body is eventually ready again, Professor Snape will cast a spell to
dissolve the piece of flesh that he's charmed for you to live in, and send your
soul into that ... er, artificial ... womb ... the Ministry made him have". Nick
answered. "So, this means I'll be living in his [i]fat[/i]", Harry said, "until
his other child is born, and he's ready to make a new body for me", he asked a
carefully nodding Nick: "How long will that be?"

"It may be a few months, I don't know", the ghost replied, "The Baron tells me
that he cast a pretty strong slowing spell on himself, after he did it to you".
" Why?" Asked Harry, in shock. "So that his own child would not arrive before
your's", Nick answered, "to ensure that he would be physically fit to help you
when you needed it". The Baron nodded grimly. "I'm still not sure I'd be happy
about staying cooped up in his [i]fat[/i]", Harry said, "and going nowhere for a
few months. I'd rather do a little bit of exploring while I'm waiting ..."

Nearly Headless Nick cleared his ghostly throat. "Harry", he announced, "The
Baron and I have come to escort you home". "What?!" said Harry, "on Dumbledore's
orders", Nick added, "for your own safety". Harry thought for a moment about
resisting, but in a flash, both the Bloody Baron and Nearly Headless Nick were
at his side. Each taking an arm, the two ghosts led Harry's soul back to
Severus, allowing the trail of his astral cord to guide them.

[b]***[/b]

Severus Snape woke suddenly, feeling as though someone had, once again, thrown a
tub full of bathwater into his body. The feeling was so vivid, that he checked
himself – even though he knew it was probably a mere dream, a reliving of the
experiences of yet another horror night in his life. [i]Everything still appears
to be the same[/i], he thought, as he tried to make himself comfortable again,
[i]my body is just as obscene as before ... no more, and, unfortunately, no
less[/i]. He was suddenly aware of a need to urinate ... again, so he groped on
the floor next to his mattress for his wand, and then used it to move a
chamber-pot (and a footstool, since squatting felt awkward to him) out from
their hiding places.

As he relieved himself for the fifth time since going to bed, Severus idly
wondered... should Umbridge and her minions ever be removed from the Ministry,
would he find any alternative uses for the spare organ they gave him. He was
quite sure, once that Eileen was born - and he was empty of Harry, that he would
be quite content to take his wand, rip the damned thing out, and dispose of it
in the nearest fire. [i]Of all the wizards I know of[/i], Severus thought,
[i]who had suffered similarly, only Harry would have probably kept, or
souvenired the thing. But then[/i], he reasoned, [i]the boy had been so deprived
of a proper family, that he probably would have been grateful for anything that
got him one.[/i]

He thought of Harry's body ... probably lying on a slab somewhere in a Ministry
vault right now, being prodded and poked by their forensic mediwizards. He
wondered if Hermione had hidden the books they had used last night, as he'd
asked. [i]Probably very well, knowing her[/i], he thought. As for the young
wizard's soul, all of the signs indicated that Severus's spell had been
successful. He wondered if the boy would let him know in some way that he had
come through all right ... [i]probably not, he thought, in answer to himself.

Then he remembered Draco, locked in a ward, and probably losing his mind.
[i]Narcissa ... Lucius, I have failed you both[/i], he thought. He wondered
about Pansy, who would be bringing her two daughters home alone, to probably
raise by herself. Longbottom--who had a sick wife and two new infants to look
after. The Weasleys, who seemed to have taken the imposition in their stride ...
but appearances could deceive. The sheer ludicrousness of the Ministry's
so-called Rejuvenation Project, that was the cause of all this.

[i]Only a woman could think up something as twisted as this[/i], he mused, as he
cleaned up, put everything away again, and dragged himself back onto his
mattress. [i]Correction[/i], he thought again, while he finished adjusting the
pillows, blankets and cushions, and tried to go back to sleep; [i]only a woman
as twisted as Umbridge ...[/i]

... He dreamt of protecting his children from the toads again. This time,
though, he could not find his wand - and when he tried to stomp on the things,
they swarmed around his feet, crawled up his legs, and he was barely able to
kick them off. In the end, he had to snatch Eileen and Harry up, and run for
safety.

[b]***[/b]

It was late, and Hermione Weasley knocked once again on the door of the secret
room, where Professor Snape had been hidden. She had charmed the doorknocker, so
that it would only be audible to those who were awake ... the previous four
times she had tried, there had been no answer. This time, she heard the familiar
voice tell her to come in. She opened the door, to find him standing by the
neatly made mattress, adjusting his robes. He'd obviously just finished
dressing. "Is there anything you'd like to eat, sir?" she asked; she had with
her some leftover fish and chips, reheated, that she had bought from a nearby
Muggle shop. She had shared the meal with Ron and Ginny, in an attempt to cheer
each other up. The day had not gone well, with a near-disastrous visit from
Ministry representatives not long after their meeting had finished. The alibi
had not held either ... and there were some difficult things that she would soon
have to tell Snape, things that he would urgently need to know.

"No thank you" Severus said curtly. He had recently awakened, after a long,
uncomfortable and broken sleep. He had only just, in fact, finished his morning
ablutions, tucking his chamber pot away as Hermione entered the room. "I have
consistently found that kind of food inedible for the past few months", he said,
" I would rather have some tea, if you do not mind". Hermione nodded, and then
transfigured his mattress into a couch; Severus eased himself down onto it.
" What kind would you like?" She asked, "I have brought Darjeeling, Oolong,
Nettle, Elderflower, Earl Grey ..." "The Earl Grey would be quite adequate", he
replied, "If you would make it extra strong, with about one third milk, three
sugars – and stir in some strawberry juice with a pinch of cinnamon, if you have
any" he said, adding; "and please do not go around telling everyone the way I've
been preferring my tea lately", before aiming his wand at an old radio on a
mantelpiece – it switched on with a crackle, and he adjusted the station with
another wand-flick.

"You are sure about the milk?" Hermione asked. "Quite sure", Severus replied.
" Do you mind if I finish these chips then?" She asked. "I have some things that
I have to tell you, about what happened today while you were resting, but it's
better if you have some refreshment first." She said, unwrapping the parcel. The
scent of vinegar and cooking oil filled the room. "Could you please charm those
things to smell like something else?" he asked, and Hermione noticed that he was
starting to look paler than usual. "Of course, sorry" she said, "I almost forgot
about that ..." a move of her wand changed the chip's oily aroma to that of a
rich coconut curry. Severus gagged. "Ohhh sorry, sorry ..." Hermione said, and
pointed her wand again. The curry was replaced by the scent of mixed herbs. He
inhaled deeply and relaxed visibly. "Much appreciated", he said faintly, the
colour already returning to his cheeks.

From a box in her robes, she produced a teapot, cups, along with tea, milk and
sugar. Summoning the rest of the ingredients, she prepared his tea as requested.
She then opened another box, and removed a battered tin tray, loaded with toast
that was spread with apricot jam and soft cheese-- no butter though. Hermione
knew, on good authority from Topsy, that the professor had developed a hankering
for this combination in the past fortnight. They sat on opposite ends of the
couch, facing each other, while they ate. Severus worked his way through the tea
and toast with the determination of a starving animal ... and gave Hermione a
quick glare when he noticed her staring at him. She turned her attention toward
the radio and the program that was playing. Severus finished his breakfast, his
eyes fixed to his plate, feeling the strangeness of once again dining in the
company of another.

A news flash was announced over the radio's station, about a minor incident
involving Muggles. Hermione had finished her chips, and rose from the couch to
put the rubbish away. She turned to check on Severus – and saw that he had also
finished, and was now leaning awkwardly back against the couch. His hand lay on
the swell of his abdomen and the empty tray and teacup rested on a spare cushion
by his side.

"Do you want another one?" she asked. He grunted, and appeared to nod as he
handed the cup to her. Hermione refilled it, flavouring the tea to his current
needs, then handed it back to him. He accepted it with a silent nod, and took a
sip. "Do you want more toast, or anything else?" she asked. Severus shook his
head. Even though, having enjoyed the toast, he was now aware of a definite
desire for a serving of scrambled eggs, with celery, pepper and herbs ... and
anchovies; preferably in a large bowl. He felt that such a request would be
excessive, after having gone through a small tray-load of toast. Though still
quite hungry, he decided that he'd best fill up on tea.

Hermione took up the tray again and went to the kitchen to clean up; Topsy and
the other elves had been enlisted to help with the other families that morning.
When she came back, Severus noticed that she was floating another serving tray
before her ... loaded with more jam-and-cheese toast, tea, and a large bowl of
what smelt like ... egg, celery, herbs ... and anchovies! Something dawned on
him. "Madam Weasley", he said, trying hard not to eye the bowl too longingly,
" You appear to have learnt Legilimency." She nodded, with a slight smile ...
sooner or later, she knew, he would need to find out, and this way was as good
as any.

"Tell me", said Severus, whilst loading a generous spoonful of egg onto a wedge
of toast, charming it not to fall off; "Having learnt the art from reading my
books, have you been instructing Madam Potter in this as well?" Hermione felt
her face heat up at the inquiry, but she kept her mood in check. The professor
had never lost his tendency to make a simple enquiry sound like an inquisition.
" Yes, and yes", she answered. "And", she added, suddenly remembering that
Severus was also an unregistered spider animagus ... "We have also been studying
the animagus transformation."

"Which you have both successfully mastered, I see", Severus replied, looking
straight into Hermione's eyes, in a way that made her feel suddenly exposed.

"Do try not to wear out that time-turner of your's" he added, raising an
eyebrow, with the toast load of anchovied eggs paused halfway to his mouth.
" Since, if you recall, we are – supposedly -- still planning to somehow remove
Madam Umbridge from her office. So therefore, there may yet come a time that we
will need to make use of that device".

"I have been taking good care of it, Professor", Hermione said; "But we were
both slightly disappointed with the forms we achieved ... usefulness-wise".
" What do you mean?" Severus asked, trying not to talk with his mouth full. "We
hoped that one of us may have become something that could fly", she explained,
" But instead, I became an otter, like my Patronus", she said, "And Ginny became
a rabbit".

"Those forms may yet still have their uses", Severus commented, scraping the
last traces of egg from the bowl with the last wedge of toast. "By the way", he
continued, "You said earlier that you wished to talk to me about something that
happened today".

"I did." Hermione replied, "It has to do with the meeting, and what happened
afterwards".

"Speak on", he told her. "The Ministry sent some people here, to take Harry's
body ... and they made some investigations," she said.

"What did you tell them?" Severus demanded. "We kept to the alibi that we'd all
agreed on", Hermione replied, "but they didn't sound convinced. They've gone
now", she added, "but they've asked us to bring you in for questioning the next
time we see you, and they've left wards all over your house to alert them of
your movements".

Severus had never, since he was a teenager, felt a stronger desire than now, to
utter an oath that he deemed inappropriate for female company. Instead, he
clamped his lips shut, to contain the foul words, but the sudden tension caused
him to burp (loudly) through his nose. "Did they detect this room?" He asked,
when his stomach had settled enough to let him talk. "No", said Hermione, "but
they'll be bringing in a team of curse-breakers tomorrow, to look for secret
rooms here".

"Then we do not have much time". He said, looking fixedly at the small, empty
fireplace at the end of the room. He wasn't sure if he would be even capable of
fitting himself into it ...

"I'll transfigure it to a better size for you, once Ginny and Fred have finished
setting it up" Hermione said, reading his thoughts. "Which should be soon, I
flooed back to The Burrow once they had left, to help set up a hideout..."

"A hideout?" Severus inquired. "During the meeting", Hermione explained, "the
Paintings and the House-Elves agreed to look for a place where you could go, if
you couldn't stay here, since we couldn't rely on the Ministry accepting the
alibi when they came to take Harry's body". Severus nodded, the movement
bringing on another embarrassing belch (and he was almost sure that he saw his
stomach deflate during that one ...).

"The House Elves found one very quickly", Hermione said, tactfully ignoring
Severus's digestive symphonics (for which he was grateful). "It's a cabin in
Northumbria, surrounded with good forest cover. Though it's a little too close
to some Muggle farms for my comfort, it's the best they could find at such short
notice".

"How did the Elves find it so quickly?" Severus asked.

"One of them used to belong to a branch of the LeStrange family", Hermione
answered, "She said that her former masters used the hut when hunting, and a lot
of the old wards are still strong."

"It'll have to do", he said, "When will it be connected to here?"

"I don't know", she replied, "Fred will send a signal when they're finished ..."
(Severus felt somewhat uneasy at that prospect), "... An hour, or even half an
hour from now, hopefully". Hermione said, "They apparated there with Dipsy just
after one this afternoon, and it's now almost six. Fred sent a Patronus about
twenty minutes ago, to get you ready quickly, because they'll be finished soon".

"They'll have to apparate straight back to The Burrow once the floo is
activated", she added, "because we are expecting a visit from Percy tonight ..."
(Severus raised an eyebrow), "... and Dipsy has to be back at Hogwarts in time
for the evening head-count".

"Then I will not have much time", he said, reaching for his wand, "Will I be
able to summon what I'll need, without activating any of the wards that the
Ministry left here?" Hermione pointed her wand at what appeared to be a fly
buzzing around the room behind her. The insect immediately expanded into one of
Severus's old wooden trunks, then levitated it next to her.

"I got Topsy to pack for you, when she had some free time", she explained. When
she noticed Severus's fingers tighten around his wand, she continued, "You may
not have gotten past all of the wards yourself." Severus glared at her, and for
a moment Hermione could almost physically feel the indignation radiating from
him. Suddenly, he looked down at his belly, gave a little hiss of annoyance, and
laid one of his arms across it. Eileen had obviously woken up. "Very well", he
said, the fingers of his wand hand relaxing a little, "Leave it by the
fireplace, I will take it with me when the floo is ready". Hermione did as he
asked.

"There ... is another thing that has to be considered", Hermione went on, a
little more nervously now, "Its about some arrangements we'd made earlier, to
have someone regularly check in on you, while you're in hiding", she said, "That
may not be as simple as we thought. For a start, it will soon be time for this
year's poll to be drawn. Ginny's name could come up ... or mine, or both of us
..."

"I should be capable of looking after myself", Severus grumbled. "Eileen could
come at any time," Hermione said. "Yes, I know that!" He snapped, and then
sighed; "If there is nobody able to arrive if I need help, then I assume that
the two House Elves are being instructed in the delivery techniques that I will
require?"

"Professor", Hermione said, "The Hogwarts Elves have to be back at the school
every evening, and Topsy has to be on call in case Luna needs her ..."

"Has Madam Longbottom's health deteriorated again?" Severus asked. "Yes",
Hermione replied, "but Neville doesn't want her back in St. Mungo's, and with
what's been happening lately, sir, I don't blame him," she said. "I've been
making her potions, and Topsy's been ..."

"Yes, yes ... I can imagine the rest", he said sharply, feeling suddenly
overwhelmed by a wave of disgust almost nauseating in its strength. He wanted to
find something more suitable to say, more appropriately sympathetic ... but that
was the best he could bring to mind. He felt suddenly sick of everything; the
Ministry, the pregnancy, the Plan, the people regularly invading his home. He
wished that he could just ask Hermione to go away, that he could drop Eileen (as
a hen would lay an egg), take a portkey, and go somewhere with her and Harry,
where nobody could find them, and no one would bother them ...

'The others", he asked, "They had been trained for Harry. If you and Ginny
cannot travel to the hideout, and it happens after the Elves are not free, maybe
one of them?" Hermione shook her head. "None of them are Animagi," she said,
" They wouldn't be able to hide quickly enough, if someone caught them on the way
to you. They wouldn't be able to talk to the cats either. The Ministry's got
spies everywhere, or so Percy told Ginny yesterday ... mostly cats under the
Imperius, and some squibs, since there are not enough witches and wizards around
who are free to do the job".

"Cats under Unforgivables, roaming the countryside as spies", Severus muttered,
" Wizard and witch alike being forced to become incubators ... what next, I
wonder?"

"If you need to," Hermione asked, "can you change to your animagus form, in your
current condition?" He had to think about that one, but realised he would be
easily able to make the right adjustments. "Yes," he said, "she would merely
turn into an unlaid egg, and I would need to concentrate a little more during
the change, to create a space where that egg could exit".

"What if you go into labour", Hermione asked again, "before we can find a better
place to hide you ... and there is nobody around to help you in time?"

"If that should ever come about", He said, "I do know the [i]Graviditas
Aeternus[/i] charm ..." Hermione's eyes widened. She recognised the name of the
ancient hex, and knew what it did. "... "Which I will not hesitate to perform on
myself, if it turns out that I have no other option." He continued. "Much as I
dislike being in this state, and much as I look forward to the day when all this
is finally over, I consider the lack of such relief a fate far preferable to
allowing Harry's, Eileen's ... and my own untimely deaths. However", he added,
" I do not envision such a scenario coming about; only if it was too dangerous
for me to use my animagus form, perhaps".

"What if you had to stay a spider, and she was coming?" Hermione queried.

"Then I would simply have to lay her, whilst in that form" Severus said, "And
then, she would hatch. I have contemplated delivering her that way so many times
throughout this whole damned pregnancy, but there is far too much risk that she
will ..."

"Stay a spider ... when she hatches," Hermione said. Severus glared at the young
witch for cutting in on him, but then looked back at the fireplace, and nodded.

"At the very best", he said, "from what I have studied on similar cases, she
will simply become a natural spider animagus ... though she will need someone to
help her return to her natural human form as soon as possible, after she hatches
... minutes will count. And ..." he added, "She will need to be watched very
carefully, or put under a restraining charm until she is old enough to control
the transformation ... such a pity the bag that the Ministry gave me has been
charmed to resist modifications, otherwise it would not have been necessary to
transfigure myself". He looked up at a tatty green clock on the mantelpiece.
" The floo should be ready soon", he noted. Raising his cup to his lips again, he
realised it was empty. Hermione noticed, and refilled it, and he took a pull at
the warm, milky tea, savouring it as though it was a fine Elf-brewed wine.

She asked him; "Do you think things will get as bad under Umbridge, as they did
under Voldemort?"

"Last time I was summoned, just before his death", Severus replied, "... he was
in an unhappy mood, so he crucio'd one of his servants to the edge of insanity",
he said, "and when that failed to sooth him sufficiently, he proceeded to set
the snake onto him". Severus swallowed the dregs of his teacup: "The Dark Lord
only told one of his henchmen to kill him after he had become comatose, unable
to register pain anymore... And only after the snake venom had caused him to
nearly bleed to death ... internally, I might add. I stood by, watching his
blood issue from places that, I am quite sure, you would not appreciate me
mentioning, Madam Weasley". His lip curled a little at this, but there seemed
more grimness than amusement in the smile. "And at... Every. Single. Moment.
That I.Watched. This thing. Go on." he spat, his mood darkening at the memory,
" I could not forget that--any moment-- if I made one little mistake – one tiny
slip of my mind ... "

Severus made a gesture with his empty hand ... "I knew that I could easily
become the next one to bleed on that floor. All it required was the tiniest slip
on my part... AND THAT WAS A GOOD DAY!!!!!" He suddenly screamed, flinging the
teacup into the fireplace, the force of the impact causing shards to scatter
back out onto the rug.

He lay back quietly against the couch, breathing heavily, his face pale. His
eyes had a wide feral look about them now. Hermione wondered if his sudden
change of mood had upset Eileen, for he had his arm laid across his abdomen
again ... something he loathed doing in company. Severus continued, in a soft,
angry whisper: "I will not reveal the details of what often happened on a bad
day, towards the end ...no, not even on an ordinary day", he hissed, softly:
" But you should have a good idea of that yourself, Madam Weasley ...you were one
of the first to arrive on the scene after he fell". Severus reached out for his
teacup, then remembered it wasn't there. Hermione started to speak, but he
curtly waved her to silence.

"No, Madam Weasley – you don't have to say anything," his voice dropping even
further, to a twisted whisper: "Do you realise that there have been at least
twenty incidents, that I remember experiencing physical torture – or nearly had
my loyalties exposed, either for the sake of the Order, and to make up for my
part in what had happened to Harry's family?" He continued, his voice becoming
quieter as he spoke ... he seemed to be building up to another explosion.

"You ...?" She gingerly asked. "When I caught them", he answered, "I crucio'd
the little whelps until they wet themselves", Severus hissed through his teeth,
apparently savouring the memory. "All three of them... then sent them back to
their master, after doing them the courtesy of obliviating them".

"Did you ever ... kill ...? Hermione asked, "You're ... not ... an Auror, you
know ... that ... you don't have the ... ?"

For the first time since his outburst, Severus turned around to look directly at
her. His eyes were not so blank and staring now, more their normal focused
hardness. "No" he said, simply. "The brats all ran back to their precious Lord
in one piece. I made certain of that".

He turned his head back, to stare into the fireplace, and continued, "But I at
least gained the satisfaction of applying a little recompense, which was more
than I could have hoped for in most situations". He suddenly took his wand out
(Hermione's hand jumped towards her own, before she stopped herself) and pointed
it at the fireplace. "Reparo!" He spat (The shards of the teacup flew back
together), and then; "[i]Accio teacup[/i]" (it flew from the hearth to his
hand).

"OW!" Severus hissed – some parts of the cup had come to rest in the coals when
he'd thrown it, and were still hot and blackened from the fire. A quick series
of "[i]Temperus[/i]" and "[i]Scourgify[/i]" charms fixed that. After applying a
healing spell to his hand, he mimicked a message owl, as he held the cup toward
Hermione, asking; "I'm still a little thirsty, Madam Weasley, Please." She
filled it again, prepared the way he currently preferred it. Taking another sip,
he continued, "You were one of the first people at that meeting afterwards, who
still chose to believe that I had not turned back to the Dark Lord after
Dumbledore's death. Why?"

"I ... am not sure", she said, "There were too many things about it that didn't
make sense ..."

"I HOPE it was NOT from pity, woman!" He snapped, his anger flaring as quickly
as it cooled. Before she could stop herself, Hermione found herself saying;
" Professor, calm down." Severus tensed, eyes glittering – and then whispered, "I
have let my emotions unnecessarily rule myself again, and no, I will not accept
my condition as an excuse for that". He rose from where he sat, stepping
awkwardly over to check on his belongings. He had neglected to refresh his
featherbelly charm, and in his maternal clumsiness, banged one of his legs
against an ottoman - and in a flurry of robes, fell sideways onto a pile of
spare cushions on the floor.

Hermione, wand out, leapt over to help the gravid man to stand up from the
undignified heap he had landed in. As she helped him right himself, smooth his
hair, and straighten his robes with a jerk, he growled in frustration at his
forced clumsiness. [i]The man was going to do himself and his child an injury,
thrashing about like that in his condition[/i] ... she thought. Taking him by
his arm, ignoring the flinch caused by his aversion to casual touch, she
steadied him as he wobbled on his feet – then nearly fell over when he rewarded
her concern by unsteadily yanking his arm from her grip. Hermione ignored the
abrupt gesture - she had seen far worse behaviour from him these last few
months, as well as being aware that he was possibly about to face a time of
great duress.

"Just try to relax sir. I'll need to check you over after that fall". She said.
He nodded, and lay wearily back against the couch, closing his eyes as she ran
her wand over him. "No real damage, thank goodness", she said, healing a couple
of bruises on his ribs, arm and hip. She then moved her wand to his belly;
Severus reached over to stop her. "Please", she said, "I will need to check
there as well".

"Very well", he muttered, his face turning pink as he deliberately studied the
cobwebs under the mantelpiece, "But make it quick".

Hermione checked, trying to touch him no more than she needed to, and found that
though the child was all right, his artificial womb had been bruised from the
fall, and the placenta had suffered some jolting. "I'll need to put my hands on
you, sir, to fix this" she said. "Just do it". He muttered through his teeth,
his head turned away. She laid one hand over his abdomen to steady herself, then
worked delicately with the other, knitting together the spots where he had been
jarred or torn. At one point, Hermione felt Eileen shift beneath her hand. She
paused, awed, but not knowing what else she ought to feel ... it was not her
husband Ron, after all, but her old Professor ...

"Please get on with it, Madam Weasley" Severus whispered, but there was no anger
in his voice this time, merely tension. Fortunately, Hermione was able to finish
the healing without the need to lift his robes, and soon she was brewing another
cup of spiced tea for him, while he busily straightened himself out.

"Is it - I repeat, is it out of pity, that you spoke up for me back then....?"
He asked her again, referring to the time she had defended him at the
Wizengamot, when he had been put on trial after the war, "... Or is there some
other reason, why you might feel it to be a good thing to have me in your debt?"
Hermione's face suddenly flushed hot in anger. "No, I thought not" Severus
continued, he was watching her eyes and read the truth: "Not that I would have
minded that much ..." He added almost inaudibly, the merest hint of weariness in
his sharp voice now. She realised that she had just let him read her, and he had
seen what she felt.

"No, I can see now it was out of habit that you did this. Well, I suppose that
is good for you to do that". Severus muttered, and turned his head away from her
again, staring at the wall. "What, did you ... think that I ..." but Hermione
halted mid-sentence as a wild theory shoved it's way into her consciousness.
" Why did you really change sides, Severus?" she asked, softly. The man on the
couch flicked his eyes once to her face, and then resumed trying to stare holes
in the mantelpiece. "You were frightened for someone, weren't you?" Hermione
said, quietly.

Severus kept his silence like a cornered insect for a second, then two ... it
seemed to her that everything around her had stopped, except for her thoughts
...three seconds ... "THAT'S IT! I've Heard Just About Enough Nonsense From You,
Madam Weasley!" He hissed, pushing himself to his feet.

He strode to the hearth, and pulled out a pouch of floo powder from his robes.
" The floo isn't ready yet, sir!" Hermione said, but her words did not stop him.
While he flung apart the drawstrings, she repeated, "Its not ready, Professor,
you can't use it yet". He turned to glare at her, and then reached his fingers
into the pouch. His face was scarlet, and Hermione thought she saw panic in his
eyes. "If you didn't want me to ask those questions, then just tell me so..."

"Nggrrrhh!!" Severus threw the partly opened bag of floo powder down in
agitation. Some of it hit the fire, turning the flames a luminous green. He
strode angrily to the wall opposite the hearth, and turned around to face
Hermione with his back to it. The fire cast a dancing, emerald-framed shadow
around and above him. She aimed her wand to clean up the mess. "Leave that." He
said. Then he straightened his shoulders and looked at her. "Yes". He said
simply. "There [i]was[/i] someone, for whose safety I had held concerns. Harry
knew, in the end, who that person was, but I bade him not to tell anyone else".

"Then ... I was right?" Hermione asked, quietly, walking towards him. Her old
teacher was forcing himself to keep a straight posture, trying not to bend too
much under Eileen's weight, or shrink away from Hermione's approach. Just now he
seemed to her, in the wild green light, to resemble a cornered animal;
frightened and dangerous. She stood face-to-face with him, as she reached her
hand towards his face. He tensed, shut his eyes, and turned his head towards the
wall. Like a spooked horse, Hermione thought. But he did not pull away from her
when her fingers detoured and gently touched his shoulder. He felt hot, and
tense under the robes. Almost feverish ...

"Please Sir, try to calm down ..." Hermione whispered, before sliding her hand
up to the back of his neck, and gently kneaded the knotted tendons. "It's not
doing you, Eileen, or Harry any good". He moved, Hermione jumped, but it was
only to bow his head a fraction; his eyes were still closed. "Open your eyes ...
please" She asked, as she lowered her hand back to her side. He shook his head
briefly, and turned away. "It was Harry's mother, wasn't it?" She asked. He
raised his arm, causing Hermione to jump again. But all he did was silently wipe
his forehead... or was it his eyes? ..on the sleeve of his robe. She couldn't
tell in that light. For a few seconds, one black orb glittered at her from above
his sleeve. Then he lowered his arm, and it took Hermione several seconds to
register that he had nodded, almost imperceptibly. After that, he not only
looked as though he had relaxed (just a little), but seemed to almost smile. It
appeared genuine, rather than sarcastic ... a barred hawk feather suddenly flew
out of the fireplace. As it hit the floor, it transfigured into what looked like
a large bag of sweets. Fred Weasley had signalled-- the cabin was ready.

She picked up the bag of sweets that Fred had sent, reading the note that was
attached: [i]Make sure that the Professor does not leave home without these,
Hermione, and I'm being serious this time - George and I found them to be very
useful.[/i]

"Professor?" She said, "I think these are meant for you". Severus cautiously
took the bag, read the note, and then stuffed it into a pocket somewhere in his
robes. Hermione retrieved the bag of floo powder and handed it to him. There was
still more than enough left in the bag to get him safely away. "It is time for
me to go", he said. "Take care, Professor", Hermione replied, as he threw a
little more powder into the fire. The flames, which had started to fade back to
yellow, flared green once more. "Oh, I almost forgot ..." She said, as he took
hold of his trunk, pointing his wand at his midriff and quietly muttered a
couple of charms. She turned and directed an enlargement charm at the fireplace,
causing it to immediately grow to a size that would more comfortably accommodate
Severus in his current condition. "Much appreciated, Madam", he said, as he
stepped into the flames with his trunk ... and vanished.

There was little time to waste now, and Hermione busied herself with removing
every recent trace of the professor's presence. She would need to get back to
the Burrow as quickly as possible, to avoid further suspicion. She wondered
whether it would be a good idea to put an implosion charm on the room afterwards
...

The last thing she did, before going to the laundry to apparate, was to take the
empty portrait frame down from the sitting room wall, shrink it, and put it in
her pocket. She never did get around to asking Dumbledore why that other
painting had been allowed to remain in that waiting room at St. Mungo's, when
Harry, Ron, Severus and Dumbledore had reunited all those weeks earlier. When
things had begun to change.

Arriving back at The Burrow, Hermione realised that it was quite late. Ron was
fast asleep in his bed, Seamus gurgled slightly in his cot, well within Ron's
reach. The hideous pink kittens, she noticed, had been charmed to an orange
colour. Tidying things up as quietly as she could, she changed into her
nightclothes, checking that the alarm on the clock had been set. She tiptoed
carefully back to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and contemplate what had just
happened.

[i]Yes, he had eventually told the truth, and accepted some of the comfort I
offered[/i], she thought, glad that he had relented even as little as he had.
The coming times were not likely to be gentle to him, or his children. There
would be little room for comfort then. Maybe, one day, things might change.
Maybe, he would know some peace in his life ... maybe, he would learn to open up
to Eileen. It had been very obvious to her that he cared for the child,
reluctant, as he was to show it. Much like his concern for Harry's mother, and
his need to have that kept as a secret ... even after Harry found out.

But if there was one thing she did know, it was she would not be forgetting
Severus in a hurry, whatever happened to him. Nor could she see herself,
regardless of what happened to her, sitting on the sideline if he needed help
again. He had given too much of himself already ... [i]No, Professor, you shall
not be abandoned[/i], thought Hermione, before continuing on her way to bed.
Slipping under the sheets beside Ron, she felt him turn a little in his sleep,
then quickly resume his quiet snoring again. Seamus too had settled down. He was
becoming an uncommonly easygoing and contented child – even Molly had commented
on that.

[i]Must have been all the extra loving he got before he came[/i], Hermione
thought, wickedly. She sobered a little, though, when her thoughts returned to
the Professor. It was not a promising start for Harry or Eileen, to be nurtured
by someone who was still driven to reject displays of love and caring as
weakness. This was particularly pertinent, since he was at a time when he
needed, more than ever, to at least tolerate them. She was tired, and soon her
thoughts slipped into dreams that shifted between paradise and nightmare. The
nightmares weren't so bad, with Ron around. Several times he awoke, when it was
his turn to attend to Seamus. It felt slightly surreal, as she watched them, to
think that next year, should the Ministry so desire, she would be doing the same
thing ...regardless of whether or not she and Ron were ready to have another
child.

Alone somewhere in his cabin, Severus too was sleeping. Cold sweat beaded his
forehead as he twitched, moaned, and kicked at non-existent toads in his sleep.
Even so, he did not cry. Even in his dreams, the strong shed no tears.

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